驾照过期了还能开车吗:五大征兆看你是否患有网络交友疲劳症

  如果你已厌倦了接二连三徒劳无获地网恋，很有可能你患上了一种叫做ODF的关系综合症，即网络交友疲倦症。在线交友疲倦症，数字交友疲倦症，网络交友疲倦症，你想怎么称呼都行，即指对网络约会不再热衷，这还来得及补救。 

If you find yourself hanging out all-too-often in cyberspace and dreading the next interview-style coffee date, you might be suffering from ODF

  如果你发现你总是在网络空间里流连，却害怕下一个面试式的“咖啡”约会，那么你很有可能正患有网络交友疲劳症。

While I don't suggest you should abandon online dating completely, consider taking a break from the process and return refreshed, along with some realistic expectations and digital tools that might increase your chances of success. Just as athletes get muscle fatigue, daters do get online dating fatigue. I also compare the Internet dating process to a real estate transaction. Sometimes a listing gets stale and needs a new agent, new photos, and needs to have their listing come back on the market new and fresh. The same strategy applies to online dating

   当然我在这里并不是在建议你要彻底放弃网络交友，但是你可以考虑适当地休息下，暂停使用这个方法，等精力恢复后再回来，带着现实点的期望和实用的网络交友的技巧，也许能增加成功的机会。就像运动员会肌肉疲劳一样，网络交友的人也会有疲劳的时期。同样，我将网络交友比作房地产交易。时常，楼盘上市太久了，会换新的经理，新的照片，楼盘需要焕然一新的回到市场上。这种战略同样适用于网络交友。 

Are you suffering from ODF? Here are 5 signs to know

你是否患有ODF（网络交友疲劳症）？以下五大征兆可以看出： 

1. You're tired of logging on and coming up empty-handed

1.你厌倦了登陆和接二连三的徒劳无获。

You go to the gym three times a week, meet your friends for drinks twice a week, and spend an hour a day logging on to your online dating account to view photos of eligible singles. You handpick 10 men or women to write to and take the time to personalize the subject line. The result is, no one ever writes back. You don't know why they weren't interested in you. You wonder if they had an inactive profile where they couldn't read your email, or were testing the waters with a few others and would consider you for the future. You diligently send emails more often than not, and still wake up to an empty inbox. It's discouraging, I know. You feel like it's a chore and can lead to ODF

 一个星期去健身房三次，和朋友聚两次，花一个小时登陆你的在线约会账号并查看几张合格单身者的照片。你任意选择10位男士或者女士，给他们写信并想方设法地将标题个性化。结果却发现没有人会回信。你不知道为什么他们对你没有兴趣。你想知道是否这是别人闲置的个人账号，所以他们不会阅读上面的文件，或者是对方正在同时考验你和其他几个人，也许会将你选定为未来一起同行的那位。你总是勤奋地发邮件，但是醒来时总是发现收件箱空空如也。这是会令人很泄气，我明白。你倍感心力交瘁，还很可能会导致ODF。 

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2. You're tired of trying to create interesting introduction emails

2.你厌倦了去创新那些吸引人的自我介绍信件。

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You know you're smart, witty, and have that great sense of humor everyone advertises that they're looking for. Yet you find it hard to write an introduction email that will be catchy and stand out. You didn't grow up wanting to be a copywriter, so your personality doesn't shine. As a result, you spend less time logging on. Finding a date or a mate goes down a notch or two on the totem pole. You've worked hard all day at work. You really don't want to work that hard when you get home. The end result is, you lose interest. You're suffering from ODF

你觉得自己很聪明、机智、有幽默感，就是每个人都嚷着要找的那种。但是你发现要写一封吸引人的能独树一帜的介绍自己的信件确实是件难事，况且你从来都不是想要当广告编辑的人，所以，你的性格魅力就没有绽放出来。最后导致你花越来越少的时间登陆在线约会账号。寻找一个男伴或者女伴上升一个或者两个等级。你终日在工作上埋头苦干，当你回家的时候你就后悔那么拼命了。最终结果，兴趣丧失，那么，你患上了ODF。 

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Take for example *Mike (name changed), who has been sending the same 770 word count email about himself for four years to women promising a lifetime of happiness. He wrote a novel with over 50 sentences to introduce himself

以麦克（化名）为例子，他四年来向许多女式发送了自己的770字内容相同的信件，向女士们许诺了终身幸福，这其中他写了50句介绍自己的小短文。 

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Chances are Mike never reads the profiles of the pretty faces he views. He diligently copies the same email daily and sends it cold to women with a shotgun approach. His subject line is empty and says (none). Sure online dating is a numbers game, but if you aren't an educated player, your email may end up deleted by the time someone reads the third sentence. I finally had to tell him, "Copy + paste = erase." I suggested that he leave the novel at home. He didn't appreciate my constructive criticism and is still single to this day

麦克大概都没有浏览那些一张张漂亮面孔的个人主页。他用鸟枪式的方法，乐此不疲地将一封封一模一样的信件发送给很多女性。他取消选取了主题栏，主题为空。当然网络交友也是个数量战，但是如果你不是一个学富五车的参赛者，那你的的邮件很可能在别人读到第三行的时候就被删了。最后我不得不告诉他，“复制+粘贴=清除”。我建议他放弃那种方法。他不以为然这些建设性的批评，到今天为止他还是单身。 

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3.You are too picky

3.你太挑剔了。
 

If anyone has ever suggested that you might be too picky, chances are, they're right. Your list may be so long on your profile, that it discourages would-be suitors who'd rather find someone more easy-going. If your search parameters are too narrow, it's rare that you'll find a compatible partner, online or offline

如果以前有人说过你可能太挑剔了，极大可能，他们是正确的。你个人主页上的列出的条件可能很长，那会让很多本来可能发展的对象宁愿选一个随和一点的。如果你设置的搜索参数要求太多了，那你找到兼容伴侣的机会也很少，无论是在网络上还是现实里。 

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Take *Janie for example. She's a vivacious woman with a lot to offer a man. She has a successful career, beautiful home, loves to cook, and really wanted to fall in love. She came to me as a last resort, having been single for a decade. I looked at her profile and her search requirements were so limiting. She only wanted to meet a man who lived within a five-mile radius of where she resided. Her age parameters only spanned five years. It was an impossible task with unrealistic expectations. She didn't realize it, but she was just too picky. We broadened her search to 40 miles and expanded her age range to 12-years, six older and six younger than herself. She's now dating someone age-appropriate who lives a town away. Are you too picky? If so, it's time to cast a wider net

杰米，她是一个性格开朗的女性，但是对男性挑剔得太多。她有自己成功的事业，温馨的家，喜欢做饭，特别梦想能坠入爱河。万不得已，在单身十年后，她来找我了。我看了看她的个人主页和搜索的条件都太多了。她只希望找到距居住的地半径五英里之内的男士，她设定的年龄限定为五岁。有那么多太现实的期望，只能使她很难择友，还没有意识到，她确实太挑剔了。我们把她的搜索范围增加到了40英里，把年龄参数增加到了12岁，比她大6岁或者比她小6岁。现在，她在和住在邻镇的一个合适的男士约会。你是否太挑剔？如果是，是时候把网撒宽一点了。 

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4. You're too difficult to reach

4.要联系你太难了。

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You wouldn't send a resume looking for your dream job without an email and phone contact for the recruiter to call you, so you shouldn't be so difficult to reach to set up a date

你在找一份理想工作时，你不会在简历上漏掉邮箱地址和电话号码，以备招聘人员再联系你，所以，在网络交友的时候你不要太难联系了。 

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Take *Bill, a handsome and successful man as an example. He always makes a good first impression in his introductory emails. He sends the women his phone number along with a message telling them that he's only available to speak at 12pm and 9pm. Most people have busy lives, both personally and professionally. So if a woman called Bill outside of those two limited time slots, they'd not only get his voicemail, but he also had "call intercept" on his line requesting that you announce yourself before he'd pick up the call. Pre-screening your date's inbound phone call isn't sexy and enticing. Of course most of the women hung up. Bill's still single. A little more flexibility and removing call intercept on his phone to make time for love might help with his search

比尔，一个帅气又成功的男士，他的介绍信给人的第一印总是很好。他在写给女士的信中说到他只有中午十二点到晚上九点有时间。很多人的无论是工作和业余生活都很忙碌，所以，如果一位女士在比尔空余的这段时间外联系他，不只收到是他的语音信箱，还可能被语音拦截，他的在线请求安装了拦截，在他接收之前，你一说话就被拦截了。屏蔽对方的接入电话不是一个吸引人的做法。当然，很多女性会挂电话。比尔依旧是单身。多一点的可支配时间，取消来电拦截，为自己的爱情腾出时间，也许会让你找到你心仪的那位。 

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5. You've gone on too many first dates

5.你已经经历了太多的第一次约会。

You've managed to pass the dating filters, sent a few emails and text messages back-and-forth, and the first phone call went well. You dined at a restaurant that you hoped might impress him or her. The process took about two weeks, but it seems you never graduate to a second date. While the reasons may vary, many include

你已经成功的通过了约会过滤，你们来回地发送几封邮件和几条短信，第一次通话很顺利。你们一起共进晚餐，希望能给他或她不错的印象。这个过程差不多要花费两个星期的时间，但是似乎想晋级第二个阶段真的很难。理由很多，如下：undefined

He or she didn't look like their photo

.他（她）与照片不像。
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There was no chemistry

.没有感觉。
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He or she never called again

.他（她）没有再联系过。
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He or she didn't respond to your text or email message

.他（她）不回你的短信和邮件。
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You've gone over your budget for dating

.你的约会消费已超预算。

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You thought the first date went well. They laughed at your jokes and said they'd like to see you again. You spent precious resources of time and money on the dating process with no return on your investment. This can lead to ODF.

Yes, dating can be expensive, but you don't need to dine at the Four Seasons to impress someone. These days, it's not gauche to use a deal-of-the-day coupon or Groupon for a dating idea, providing you're not only asking for two-for-one yogurt at $4.99. The result is, your wallet is now thin and you still find yourself alone on date night. You get frustrated with the process and end up with ODF

你本以为你们的第一次约会很顺利，约会的时候对方对你讲得笑话很有兴趣，并说希望以后能再见。你花费宝贵的时间和金钱资源在约会上，但却是没有回报的投资，这也能引起ODF。
确实，约会是很昂贵的消费，但是你不需要为了取悦某人而在四季酒店（美国五星级酒店）共进晚餐。如今，约会时使用限时的优惠券和团购不是件丢脸的事情，除非你想要的不只是4.99美元买一赠一的酸奶。最后，你发现你的钱包越来越扁了，你还是孤孤单单一个人。这种情况让你很沮丧，最后以ODF告终。 

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If any of these five scenarios sound familiar, you're not alone. Online dating fatigue is very real. Sometimes you need to take a break, other times you need to fine tune your profile or change your parameters and habits. At the end of the digital day, there are over 120 million singles in the world looking for love online. Not everyone suffers from online dating fatigue. It only takes one

如果这五个情景的任一听起来还熟悉，别担心，你并不是唯一一个。网络交友疲劳症是确实存在的，时不时你需要休息一段时间，或是修改下你的个人主页，或者改变一下你的选择项和爱好。截止网络时代的今天为止，世界上有超过1亿2千万的单身在浩淼的网络里找伴侣。不是所有人都患上了网络交友疲劳症。