非诚勿扰徐方毅:婚外情在中国 A Chinese Affair

http://www.sina.com.cn 2004/08/17 15:21  《Speak 2 Me》
Adultery and divorce are on the rise in China
通奸和离婚在中国与日俱增
Qing thought she was truly happy. She had a university degree, a great job, a new apartment in Shanghai and a new husband. Home alone one day, however, Qing found some suspicious e-mails on her husband’s computer. Were they junk mail or evidence her husband was having an affair? Should she delete them and hope for the best? Or should she confront her husband, knowing that it might lead to divorce? Or should she go even further, and take revenge by having an affair of her own?
Like Qing, many other women (and some men, too) are discovering a downside to China’s economic growth. Increased personal incomes among the growing middle class are leading an increasing number of spouses looking outside their marriages for pleasure. While hard numbers are hard to come by, there’s little doubt that men and women are having affairs in record numbers: dating websites for married people are all the rage, and private detectives specializing in tracking straying spouses have more business than they can handle. Suspicious spouses are even buying specially-designed cell phones which can track the user’s location and let others secretly listen in on voicemail messages.
And for those who find their fears were justified, many head straight to divorce court. Over two million couples are expected to divorce in China this year, with Shanghai leading the way. The divorce rate in China’s largest city is 2.5 times higher than the national average, with over 40 percent of divorcing couples claiming their split was directly caused by one or both partners having an extra-marital affair.
However, proposals to make adultery a criminal offense have met little popular support. Instead, revisions to the marriage law make it easier for the spouse to collect damages in a divorce settlement. It seems that no matter how suspicious or slighted spouses are, they’d rather see their partner pay out of their pocket than end up in jail.
青还以为她真的快乐。她有大学学位，有很好的工作，在上海的新公寓还有个新婚的丈夫。有一天青独自在家，却在丈夫的计算机里发现了可疑的电子邮件。这些只是垃圾邮件呢，还是她丈夫有外遇的证据？她应不应该把它们删掉，然后尽量往好处想？或者明知这样可能导致离婚，也要跟丈夫对质？还是你初一我十五，自己也用婚外情来报复？
像青一样，很多妇女﹙还有一些男士﹚发现了中国经济增长的负面效应，中产阶级的增加，个人收入的增加，导致越来越多的配偶寻求婚外的快乐。虽然确切的数据很难取得，但有外遇的男人和女人的数量无疑创下了历史新高：为已婚人士设立的联谊网站大为流行，专门追踪迷途配偶的私家侦探生意应接不暇。心存怀疑的配偶甚至购买特殊设计的手机，这些手机可以追踪使用者的位置，并让旁人窃听语音信箱的留言。
那些证实了自己的疑惧的人，很多直接步入离婚法庭。今年在中国据估计有超过200万对夫妻离婚，数量以上海最多。在中国最大的这个都市里，离婚率是全国平均数的2.5倍，超过40%的离婚夫妻宣称，他们分手的直接原因是配偶的一方或双方有婚外情。
有人提议将通奸变成违法的犯罪行为，然而民意并不认同。取而代之的是，婚姻法得到修订，让配偶在离婚协议中较容易获得损害赔偿金。不管他们多么怀疑或受冷落，与其看到配偶最后被关进牢里，他们似乎更想看到配偶把钱拿出来。