露娜3d下载地址:什么是情感依赖？

我们生来就依赖我们周围的环境而生存。这种依赖不仅包括食物的滋养，还包括情感的滋润。爱、温暖、关注、感情和欢乐是情感发展和情感自主的一些必须养料。

When the food is insufficient for emotional childhood, a person remains in the stage of emotional dependence that is in fact an emotional dependency. A lot of research has shown that people who are raised in a positive emotional environment have better physical and emotional health than people who grow up in an atmosphere of emotional conflict.

童年期时，一个人情感的养料还不够，处于情感依赖阶段，那事实上就是一种情感依赖。大量的研究表明，在积极地情感环境里长大的人比那些在情感冲突的人在身体上和心理上都要健康。

As children, we are entirely dependent on our parents to build our identity and our freedom to be. When this identity and freedom is suppressed, ignored or rejected, our adult life becomes very profoundly marked by a lack of self-esteem and an inability to manage emotions and feelings.

当还是孩子的时候，我们完全依赖父母塑造我们的个性和自由。当这种个性和自由受到压抑、忽视或拒绝，我们的成年就会显著地表现为自尊心缺乏，以及情感和情绪失控。

Andrew suffered so much lack of love during his childhood that he is unable to express his feelings at all. Sarah has so much 'fear of losing' in a romantic relationship that she becomes jealous often. This jealousy caused the breakdown of each of her relationships. When Louise falls in love, she becomes the shadow of the other person, and ceases to exist as herself.

安德鲁在童年是如此的缺乏爱，以致于他无法表达自己的感情。莎拉在恋爱时是如此的“害怕失去”，以致于她常常妒忌，这种妒忌造成了她一次又一次的感情破裂。当路易斯坠入爱河，她变成了他人的影子，失去了自我。

Most people grow into adults are capable of being independent financially and materially, but how many are capable of being independent affectively and emotionally? Many people are unable to live in emotional autonomy. Why? Because some limiting beliefs acquired in childhood stop them. These beliefs determine behavior. There are, for example, people who live entirely in their heads, and have no idea what is happening as far as their feelings and emotions go.

大多数人进入成年期后，都能够在经济和物质上独立，但是有多少人能够情感独立呢？许多人无法情感自主地生活。为什么呢？因为童年时获得的一些信念阻止了他们。这些信念决定着他们的行为。例如，有些人完全活在想象中，只要情绪和情感失控，他们就无所适从。

Others live in permanent insecurity, and have many fears and anxieties that make them dependent and vulnerable to the judgments of others. And then there are those who manipulate and control others with negative feelings to be loved.

另外一些人生活在永久的不安中，他们非常恐惧和焦虑，以致于对他人的评价变得依赖和脆弱；也有一些人用被爱的消极情感操纵和控制他人。

A person who suffers from emotional dependence believes that love can only come from others. Since they don’t love themselves, they have difficulty in appreciating love they do receive. It’s like a leaky pot. You can pour in water ten times over but it’ll never fill. The emotionally dependent person, even if loved, feels a void caused by the difficulty to love and recognize their own worth.

一个患有情感依赖的人认为，爱只可能来自于他人。由于他们不爱自己，所以他们只会接受爱，而不会感激爱。那就像一个有洞的锅，你可以无数次把水注满，但锅永远也不会满。情感依赖型的人即使被爱，他们也会由于无法去爱和认识到自己的价值而感到空虚。

Since their feelings and emotions can only come from others, they feel the need to control others in order to be loved. This control can be exercised through guilt, criticism, blame, anger, but also by impotence, fear of losing, discomfort and illness. Excessive control is responsible for most problems in couples’ relationships, parent/child relationships and the boss/employee dynamic.

因为他们的情绪和情感只可能来自于他人，他们会为了被别人爱而感到有一种控制他人的需求。这种控制不但通过内疚、批判、责备、愤怒，还可以通过无能、害怕失去、不安和疾病来实施。大部分夫妻关系问题、亲子关系问题和老板/雇员之间的关系变化都起因于过度控制。

One of the most dramatic effects of emotional dependency is alcoholism and drug addiction. Research has shown that alcohol and drugs produce the neurotransmitter dopamine, which plays a key role in the sensation of pleasure. Alcoholics and drug addicts look to drugs and alcohol for positive feelings they received during their childhood. However, the price to pay is physical and emotional suffering that far exceeds the amount of ephemeral pleasure that chemicals can provide.

情感依赖的最严重后果是酗酒和吸毒成瘾。研究表明，酒精和毒品能产生神经递质多巴胺，多巴胺在愉悦感中扮演者关键的角色。酗酒者和毒品上瘾者从毒品和酒精中找寻他们童年期的积极情感。然而，这种方式的身体和情感代价是巨大的，远远超出了那些化学物质带来的短暂快乐。