迟到多久才算久？An invitation to do the right thing

How late is it acceptable to arrive at a social event? Fifteen minutes? Twenty? Half an hour? Does there come a point when it is just too late to turn up at all? I confess to not being particularly consistent at timekeeping. I was mindful of this in mid-January when I was invited to a very special event at Spencer House: a recital by a string quartet from the London Symphony Orchestra. I am not known for my love of classical music, but two things appealed. First, the recital was to last a mere 35 minutes, leaving plenty of time to chat to the select group of attendees and to admire the 18th-century mansion. Second, I was invited by a senior banker in the City of London whose company I enjoy very much. Thus it was that I readily responded, and resolved to be on time.

在社交活动中，迟到多久是可以接受的？15分钟？20分钟？还是半个钟头？迟到多久最 好干脆不要露面？是否存在这样的底限？我承认自己并不是一贯特别守时。1月中旬，我被邀请出席在斯宾塞宫(Spencer House)举办的一个极其特别的活动——伦敦交响乐团(London Symphony Orchestra)弦乐四重奏演奏会。当时我就意识到了自己这个缺点。我并不以喜爱古典音乐著称，但这次活动有两点很吸引人。首先，演奏只有35分钟， 这样就有很多时间可以和组织方精心挑选的嘉宾们闲聊，顺道瞻仰这幢18世纪的建筑。其次，邀请我的是伦敦金融城的一位高级银行家，我极为欣赏此人所效力的 公司。于是我欣然应允，并决心准时前往。

I have been brought up to attend functions that I have accepted, and not to cry off when I am later offered the opportunity to do something else. So when I was subsequently invited to the launch of Sarah Brown’s book, Behind the Black Door, on the same night, Tuesday March 1, I felt I had to decline. The string quartet was calling, and anyway it would have been bad manners.

我从小受到的教育是答应的事情一定要做到，即使后来又有机会去做别的事情，也决不能毁 约。所以当我后来被邀请参加莎拉?布朗(Sarah Brown)新书《黑门背后》(Behind the Black Door)的发布会——就在同一天，3月1日星期二的晚上——时，我觉得自己必须拒绝。弦乐四重奏在召唤，缺席怎么说都太失礼了。

Even so, I was particularly disappointed not to attend Sarah’s book launch, and not just because I missed meeting Jimmy Carr. It was also because Sarah has made regular appearances in this column as PLG, my Pilates Loving Girlfriend. When an advance copy of the book arrived at my office on the afternoon of the launch I was so busy working my way through it that I nearly made myself late for my Spencer House appointment. I was completely absorbed in scouring its 435 pages (and 12 pages of acknowledgments) seeking mentions of the hours and hours of Pilates that she has made me endure. My stance on Pilates, as regular readers know, is very clear. I do not consider it a real exercise, and anyway I do not need to strengthen my pelvic floor as I have had three caesarean sections.

尽管如此，不能参加莎拉的新书会，还是让我非常失望。不仅因为这意味着错过与吉米?卡 尔(Jimmy Carr)见面的机会，也因为莎拉经常出现在这个专栏中——她就是我的“普拉提闺蜜”(Pilates Loving Girlfriend)。发布会当天下午，一本新书样本送到了我的办公室，由于忙着翻看，斯宾塞宫的活动我险差迟到。我完全沉浸在从全书435页（以及 12页的感谢辞）里面翻找普拉提的段落中。她让我忍受了多少个小时的普拉提啊。关于普拉提，老读者知道，我的立场很明确。我认为它并不是一项真正的锻炼， 再说我前后做过3次剖腹产，根本不需要强化我的骨盘。

The book has been criticised in some quarters for the way it presents Sarah as a dutiful and supportive wife of a kind that no longer exists (it does, and she is, but the rest of us struggle to follow her example). Its very normality and lack of gossip have also caused a degree of disappointment. If what people want from a book like this is a series of criticisms of other people, then it’s true that it is not the book for them. If, however, readers would like to know how PLG functioned as WPM (Wife of the Prime Minister), a role for which, as she has pointed out, there is no job description, and how normal life functions while you are trying to greet George Clooney, dress to stand next to Carla Bruni, and get Naomi Campbell on side for charitable causes, then I commend it.

有人批评莎拉在书中某些地方把自己刻画成一位任劳任怨、扶持丈夫的贤内助，这样的女人 已经绝迹（的确如此，而她也的确是旷世仅存的，但是我们大家都难以模仿）。书中一本正经的叙述，少了闲言碎语，也让有些人感到失望。如果人们希望从这类书 中看到指摘他人的言辞，那么这本书委实不适合他们。但是，假如读者希望了解身为首相夫人的生活——用她自己的话说，这个角色没有职位描述——一边要接待乔 治?克鲁尼(George Clooney)，穿衣打扮与卡拉?布鲁尼(Carla Bruni)并排而站，邀请纳奥米?坎贝尔(Naomi Campbell)参加慈善事业，一边又要过正常的生活——那么我推荐此书。

It’s true that the lack of an index is rather maddening, meaning that you will have to read your way through the entire book if you are seeking (for example) mentions of Pilates or names of specific people (tip: she first meets George Clooney on page 120 and Naomi Campbell on page 143). And it’s true too that Sarah Brown’s understandable concerns about her confidence as a public speaker are less relevant than how she overcame them. If you are trying to change the world, whether as a WPM or even just the W of a lesser being, public speaking skills are important. I have always thought this is one of those things that holds many women back.

缺少索引的确让人有点抓狂，这意味着你如果想找找有没有提到普拉提或者某个特定人物 （她第一次见到乔治?克鲁尼是在120页，第一次见到纳奥米?坎贝尔是在143页），你就得从头读起。莎拉担心自己在公共场合讲话不够自信，这可以理解， 但是，人们更关心的是如何克服这种担忧。如果你试图改变世界，不论你是首相夫人，或者只是一名普通人的妻子，公开讲话技巧都极为重要。我向来认为，这是许 多女性通往成功之路上的绊脚石之一。

However, I tore myself away from the book, reapplied my lipstick and cycled over to St James’s and Spencer House. I locked up my bike outside, put my lights in my handbag, rearranged my hair and presented myself and my security-cleared invitation at the door, bang on time at 6.30pm. The doorman looked a bit puzzled, so I brandished the paperwork under his nose to prove that I was invited. At which point he pointed out, correctly alas, that the invitation clearly stated Tuesday, February 1. A month late? Is that too late? I fear it is.

但是，我终于毅然放下书，重新涂了口红，骑上自行车，赶往圣詹姆斯和斯宾塞宫。来到斯 宾塞宫外面，我锁好自行车，把照明灯放进手提包，整理了一下头发，拿着邀请函理直气壮地来到门前。6点30分整，准点到达。看门人的表情有点困惑，于是我 忙把邀请函送到他鼻子底下，瞧，我受到邀请了！这时他说，邀请函上白纸黑字写着2月1日星期二。哎呀，千真万确！这么说晚了一个月？迟到太久了？恐怕是 的。