黑暗之魂3黑骑士巨斧:追寻人生新方向的10种方法（双语）

追寻人生新方向的10种方法

Since graduating from high school, Ihave spent the last fourteen years on the “right track” for my bigtransition into adulthood.

自从中学毕业以后，我花了过去的14年时间完成了走上“正道”并走向成熟的巨大转变。

I moved out, went to college, found agood job, and bought a house. I did everything I was expected todo. I worked long hours, chasing promotions and raises I didn’tcare about. I dutifully planted myself infront of the television in the rare moments I was home, and filled myexistence with all thenormal stuff ofmodern life—debt, clutter and stress.

我搬到别处，进了大学，找到了一份好工作，还买了房。我完成了所有过去我期望自己去做的事。我工作很长的时间，求得升职加薪这些并不是我内心渴望着的事情。在我难得呆在家里的时候我总是让自己坐在电视机前，满脑子充斥着现代生活里常有的东西------债务、混乱和压力。

I just wanted my parents to be proudof me. So I chased what I had been told success looked like.Instead of finding what I was searching for, I discovered aconstant stream of excess—too much work, too much stress, too muchstuff—and I was drowning in it.

我仅仅是想让我的父母以我为荣。所以我一直在追求着我被灌输的成功准则。而不是找寻我内心想要的东西，我发现有太多负担，没完没了------太多的工作、太多的压力、太多乱七八糟的事------而且我深陷其中。

In the stillness of the night,blanketed by the never-ending comfort of darkness, I would begin todream about the life I wanted to live. One filled with joy andpeacefulness where I was doing work that mattered to me, pouring myenergy into those I loved, and had the space to just breathe—prettymuch the complete opposite of my current existence.

 在黑夜的寂静中，在黑暗的永恒的舒适的掩护下，我开始梦想我想要的生活。我想要我工作的地方充满欢乐和和谐，我想把精力用于我所热爱的事业，当然还要有放松的空间——和我目前的状况差不多相反。

But instead of chasing the life Idreamed of, I kept chasing the one I didn’t want. I was scared ofchanging direction, scared of challenging what I had been taught todesire in life, and even more terrified by the idea of actuallygetting to live the life I dreamed about.

我没有去追求我所向往的生活，反而在为我不想要的生活而奋斗。我很害怕改变人生方向，害怕挑战灌输在我脑中的人生愿景，甚至害怕这种去过我理想中的生活的想法。

What life are youchasing?

你所追求的是什么样的生活？

When I started thinking about thechanges that would need to happen in order for me to transitionfrom one life to the other, the fears within mestarted to multiply. I thoughtabout things like:

当我开始考虑让我从一种生活过渡到另一种生活所必须做出的改变时，我内心的恐惧开始增多。我想到了这些事：

How do I go aboutchanging?

What if I can’t do it?

What if I don’t like the things Ithought I did?

How can I support myself and dothis?

Am I too far along in life to evenentertain the idea of changing it?

How can I just walk away from the“security” I have now?

我该如何去改变呢?

假如我办不到该怎么办？

假如我不喜欢原先认为自己会喜欢的东西，该怎么办?

我怎样支持自己去做这些事？

我是否已经活得麻木了以至于想要做出改变的这种想法也显得荒唐？

怎样才能让自己走出目前的“安定”的生活？

The mere idea of changecan be one of the scariest realities we face. When you are standing on the cusp, you haveto dig deep within yourself to find ways to overcome the fear,doubt and worry. There is no one solution that works for everyone.It will be a lot of trial and error as youfind your way along, but the moreactions you take the more the confidence yougain.

仅仅是想要改变这种想法就足以成为我们面对的最让人惧怕的现实之一。当你处在风口浪尖，你要深入审视自己并找到克服恐惧、疑虑和担忧的方法。没有一个通用的解决办法。在你找寻自己的方法的过程中会碰上许多困难和错误，但是你采取的行动越多你所获得的信心就越多。

You aren’t going to start out withall the right answers, or even a complete picture of where you wantto end up. But I suspect, in the stillness of the night, that voicespeaks to you loud and clear about the life you know you want to beliving.

你不会一开始就有答案，也没有对你能够走多远有一个清晰的认识。但是我觉得，在黑夜的寂静中，有一种声音响亮而又清楚地告诉你你想要过的生活。

Here are 10 ways to help you startchasing a new direction:

这里有10种方法可以帮助你去追寻新方向：

1.Get clear about what youwant. A boat that wanders aimlessly never reaches theshore. You need to have some direction to help guide you along theway. Some people start out with a complete picture, while othersidentify one or two things they want to change right now. Eitherway, you need to get clear about where youare going.

清楚地知道你想要的是什么。一艘漫无目地游荡的船永远也到不了彼岸。你需要一些方向去指引你前进。有些人开始的时候就已经有了一个全盘的计划，而其他的人则抓住一至两件当下想要改变的事。不管怎样，你要清楚你是要往哪个方向前进。

2. Startsmall. Adanger zone exists when you get clear about where you want to be.You start to feel excited about the life you want to live, and thenyou try to change everything at once. You get exhausted, and yougive up. Don’t set yourself up for falling back into your old life.Start with the smallest action you can take today and just dothat.

从小事开始做起。当你开始清楚你想要成为什么样的人的时候危险地带就会出现。你开始对你想要过的生活感到激动，然后你想要马上改变一切。你变得精疲力竭，然后你放弃了。不要为陷入过去的生活埋下伏笔。刚开始的时候做些你当天力所能及的小事，然后重复性地去做这件事。

3. Focus on whatnot how. Ifyou continually focus on how you are going to accomplish massivetransitions in your life, you will never begin taking those smallactions. When you think about how, your mind can come up with allsorts of scenarios where you don’t reach the goal. This is not whatyou need to focus on. None of this matterstoday. Worrying about afuture that willmost likely never come to pass is a waste of both your time andenergy.

Put your focus where it mattersmost—what do you want for yourlife? Once you focus on the what, and starttaking those small actions, the how will take care ofitself.

关注于“什么”而不是“如何”。如果你继续关注于如何才能完成人生的巨大转变，你就永远也不会采取这些微小的行动。当你思考如何的时候，你头脑中浮现的都是你无法实现目标的场景。这并不是你需要去关注的。这些都不重要。担忧一种未来几乎不可能成为现实既是对你时间的浪费，也是对你精力的浪费。

把你的注意力放在关系重大的事情上------你想要你的生活是什么样子的？一旦你聚焦在那一点上，而且开始采取那些微小的行动，你就完全用不着为如何而倍感担忧了。

4. Don’t thinkabout how long it has been thisway. I spentfourteen years working on my professional career, before I left itbehind to write and run my own business. I spenttwenty-three years overweight before I lost that first pound. Now I spendevery day writing and running my own business. And to date, I havelost over 108 pounds.

It does not matter how long thingshave been this way in your life, today is the day that you canstart to change. It just takes your unwavering commitment and onesmall action. Then repeat this step again tomorrow.

不要去想这样子已经持续多久了。在我辞职开始创业之前，我花费了14年的时间在我的职业生涯上。我花了整整23年的时间才减掉了一磅体重。现在我每天写作和打理我的生意。到目前为止，我已经减掉了108磅。

一样事情在你生活中持续了多长时间并不重要，重要的是今天就是你开始改变的日子。那需要你的坚持不懈和一点点行动。然后明天继续重复这个步骤。

5. Createaccountability for yourself. You cannot do this alone. (Trust me,I thought I could too!) Youneed people who know and support your efforts to keep you on trackin this process. You need accountability that tomorrow you aregoing to keep pushing forward. You need people you can rely on whenthe going gets tough (because it will, that’s justlife). You need someone to helpyou see things in a different way, to call you out on your excuses,and to keep you going when you’d rather give up.

Build yourself a support system, andlet those who would question or undermine your efforts go alongtheir way.

给自己设定一种问责制。你无法独自一人完成这件事。（相信我，我过去以为我能够做到！）你需要了解并支持你的人督促你跟上进度。你需要问责制让你明天能够更加努力。当事情变得难办时，你需要可以依赖的人（因为你会遇到困境，这就是生活）。你需要有人帮助你从另一个角度看事情，让你从自己的借口中清醒过来，并且在你将要放弃的时候鼓励你去坚持。

为你自己建立一个支持系统，并且让那些质疑你或不屑于你付出的努力的人走他自己的康庄大道去吧。

6. Don’t give in tothe negative self-talk. My brain has thisamazing talent wherein no matter what I do, it can point outall the ways in which I have failed. It tries desperately toconvince me that I shouldn’t keep going; that it just wants meto be safe.

Phooey! That inner dialogue is whatis keeping you stuck in the first place. You are in control of yourmind, not the other way around. Choose to look atthings in a different perspective.Choose to keep your options open and your dreams alive. When thenegative discussion starts, choose to be stronger than yourthoughts.

不要陷入消极的心理暗示。我的头脑有这种惊人的天赋：无论我想要去做什么事，它总是让我看到自己失败的样子。它拼命地想要说服我不要再继续那样做了；那仅仅是想要让我身处安全。

哎！这段心里的对话正是让你止步不前的罪魁祸首。你可以控制你的头脑，而不是它控制你。从另一面看待事情。保持一种开放的心态，让你的梦想指引你。当消极思想出现的时候，你要变得比它更坚强。

7. Open yourself topossibility. If you close yourself off to theworld, you are going to miss a lot ofamazing things. Part of thisprocess is allowing those past pains, those old mindsets andpreconceived notions go. You need to create a sort of blank slatewithin yourself to begin reconstructing how you see theworld.

相信万事皆由可能。假如你为你自己套上了枷锁，你将会错过许多惊奇的事情。这个过程的一部分是让过去的苦痛、旧心态和先入为主的观念离开。你需要做的是为你自己准备一块空白的石板，在上面重建你所看到的世界。

8. Be willing tolet things go. One of the biggest gifts you can give yourselfin this process is freedom. By releasing the burden ofyour stuff, you will find that there is plenty of timeand space to create the life you want to live.

Clearing out the physical clutter inyour personal space is a great place to start. Take it 15 minutesat a time, room by room. Start with small actions and get themomentum building. This doesn’t just apply to our physicalpossessions, but our emotional ones as well. Focus on the number ofcommitments you have in your life, the things you feel thatyou have to do. Start thinking aboutall thestuff in yourlife, and what you can do to begin clearing itaway.

愿意放手。在这个过程中你能给予你的最棒的礼物之一就是自由。通过缓解你身上的负担，你会发现那儿有充足的时间和足够的空间让你去创造你想要的生活。

清里你私人空间里的杂物是一个很好的着手点。每次花15分钟，从一个房间到另一个房间。先从小事开始并保持良好的势头。这不仅仅是应用于你的物质财产，也可以运用于你的精神世界。聚焦在你一生中曾许下的承诺，那些你感到你必须要去做的。开始思考你生活中的全部事情，为了把它清理干净你需要做什么。

9. Take care ofyourself first. In the never-ending race we have created out ofour lives, the first person we always neglect is ourselves. Youcan’t wait for the world to quiet down beforeyou start focusing on your ownwell-being. Keeping such a franticpace only leaves you exhausted and not of much use to the peopledepending on you. To be of great service to others, you must firsttake care of yourself.

优先考虑到自己。在永不停息的竞争中我们为自己设定好了生活路线，我们忽略的第一个人往往是我们自己。你不可能等到这个世界安静下来，你才开始关注你自己的幸福。保持一种疯狂的步伐前进只会让你精疲力竭，而且对那些指望着你的人也没有好处。对他人有帮助，你必须先要照顾好自己。

10. Stop and reflectalong the way. When you start implementing the first ninepoints on this list, you may find yourself caught in the momentumof change. Time passes quickly in our lives, and as we grow andchange so too does our vision of the life we want to live. Makesure that you take time to simply reflect on what you haveaccomplished, where you are at right now, and where you areheaded—then plan some small action steps fortomorrow.

沿途要住在停留和反省。当你开始施行上述9条建议时，你会发现自己已经开始在走向改变。人生匆匆，随着我们的成长，我们对自己渴望的生活方式的愿景也会改变。你要确信你会花时间反思你已经取得的成就，以及目前你处在哪里，还有你将走向何方------然后为明天的计划想好行动步骤。

撰文：Stephanie Wetzel 翻译：花の雪

外研社官方博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/fltrp19