魔力宝贝改造螳螂:你是否意识到这八种错误的肢体语言 -pph的博客-blog.ju51.com

　　你是否意识到这八种错误的肢体语言
　　Warning: Do You Recognize These 8 Body Language Killers?

　　相当程度的交流是通过肢体语言实现的。虽然我们自己不能看见，但其他人可以。如果你在说一件事的同时却在想着另一件，你的肢体语言很可能会泄露你真正的想法。

　　- Gerri King, Ph.D.（一位杰出的企业顾问，同时也是资深社会心理学家）

　　你知道吗，在交流过程中，55%的信息是通过视觉传达的（身体语言，眼神接触），38%则是通过声音（音调，语速，音量，语气）。也就是说，只有7%的信息是通过所说的话传达的。可见，无论是一对一的面试或是面对一群人的简报，当成为场上焦点时，你需要的是全面高效的沟通。

　　那么，如何更好地提升语言技能呢？

　　回避常见错误，并以更自信的行为替代将明显地提升你的肢体语言。这里列举了八种会让听众失去兴趣、或印像不深的肢体语言。训练自己去避免他们，你就会看到：小变化可以有大不同！

　　错误#1 逃避眼神接触
　　你是简单的念ppt而不是向观众介绍吗？在一对一的谈话中，你是盯着一旁、脚下或前面的桌子吗？你从未看过聊天对象肩膀以上的部位吗？这些都说明你缺乏自信心，紧张和准备不足。

　　技巧：看着你的听众。用80%至90%的时间看着听众的眼睛。绝大多数的人花太多
　　时间看笔记，幻灯片或身前的桌子，而很多人在看了自己的谈话录像后可以立刻改变这一行为。真正的商业领袖在传递信息时是直接看着听众的眼睛的。


　　错误#2 你和听众之间有阻碍
　　另一种较常见的错误是因为在你和你的听众之间有别的物体，从而阻碍了你们的直接交流。这些错误，比如双手交叉，站在讲台或椅子后，从屏幕后和别人交谈，在都阻碍真正的交流。即使只是一个放在桌上的文件夹，也可能制造距离阻碍交流。

　　技巧：保持“开放”。保持你的手打开、手掌向上。消除你和你的听众间的壁垒。

　　错误#3 坐立不安，摇摆或晃动
　　以上动作说明了你感到紧张，不确定或措手不及，避免这些错误，因为这样做并不能帮你实现什么。让我们想象一下，一家电脑公司的高级业务主管要向他们的主要投资者传递新产品的讯息，但没有成功。实际上，这个项目的确是在他团队的掌控下，但他的身体语言却给了投资者其他的暗示。

　　做简报时前后摇晃，这就是这位主管的最大问题。它反映了一种能力与控制力的缺乏。通过学习去做有意识的移动，他最终避免了职业生涯上的失败。下次简报之后，投资人定会相信一切都在他们的掌握中。

　　错误#4 把手放在口袋中或手指纠缠
　　把手拘谨的放在身体两侧或塞在口袋里给人的印象是——你提不起兴趣，不想参与或紧张，不论你到底是或不是。

　　解决它的办法很简单：从口袋里拿出你的手，作些有决心的、果断的手势。保持两手高于腰部是一个很好的例子。这是个复杂的手势，反映了复杂的思想，并给了听众对说话人的信心。

　　错误#5 站着、坐着不动
　　效率低的发言者几乎不动，从头到尾都站在同一个地方。这反映了他们很死板、紧
　　张、沉闷、没有魅力和活力。

　　技巧：激活你的身体，而不是幻灯片，走动走动。大多数演讲者都认为他们需要笔直地站在一个地方。但他们不明白的是，移动不仅是可接受的，而且是受欢迎的。

　　一些最伟大的商业演讲者会走到观众中，并不停的走动。但他们并非漫无目的。
　　举例来说，一个充满活力的发言者将从房间的一边走到另一边去传递他们的信息。他指向幻灯片而不是阅读它，他把手放在别人的肩膀上而不是与听众保持距离。

　　错误#6 没精打采，后仰或驼背
　　这些姿态往往与缺乏自信联系起来，它们能体现或者被认为能体现——缺乏投入或兴趣，它们也说明你没有权威，缺乏信心。

　　小技巧：保持抬头挺胸。当站立时，脚打开与肩同宽，身体稍向前倾。这样你就看起来很感兴趣，更投入，更有热情。肩膀略向前，这会显得你更有男子气概。头与身体要直立，不要靠在桌子或讲台上。

　　错误#7 虚假的动作
　　这正表明你准备过度，不自然和做作。要使用手势，但别过度。研究人员已经证明，手势反映了复杂的思想。听众能从手势中察觉到你的信心，能力与控制力。可是一旦你试图模仿一个手势，你可能会被认为做作，就像一个三流的政客。

　　布什总统常常用与他所说的话格格不入的手势，好像他准备过度，这像收看配错音的低成本电影。你可能不会像布什总统那样受到广泛的评论，但尽管如此，你也不想在会议过后遭到同事与朋友取笑。

　　错误#8 玩硬币，跺脚和其他令人讨厌的小动作
　　以上动作只能体现你的紧张，不自信或对细节不够关注。用一台摄像机录下自己的表现，再用挑剔的眼光去重看一遍。你是否发现了自己从未察觉过的那些令人讨厌的小动作？有位作家写了一本关于领导力的书，我曾去看过他对自身规划的讨论。在整个谈话过程中，他不停地玩口袋里的硬币。那天，他不但没有卖掉很多书，而且在领导力方面也没有得到高分。

　　紧张将体现在不停的跺脚，摸脸或抖脚上。一旦你明白自己的行为，你可以轻松地改正它。

　　有活力，有感染力的肢体语言会帮助你提升的演讲的表现力，不管你是在面试，升职或担任高管的过程中。所以改进你的肢体语言，如同注意你说话一样去注意它，你的影响力将飙升！

　　Warning: Do You Recognize These 8 Body Language Killers?

　　“A significant amount of communication occurs through body language. Though we can’t see our own, everyone else does. If you’re saying one thing and thinking another, your body language may well give you away.”

　　- Gerri King, Ph.D.

　　Did you know that 55% of communication is visual (body language, eye contact) and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice)? That means only 7% involves your actual words. And when the spotlight is on you — whether one-on-one in a job interview or when making a presentation to a large group — you need to communicate effectively on all levels.

　　But how do you develop better language skills?

　　When it comes to body language, simply avoiding the most common mistakes and replacing them with more confident movements will make a big difference. Here you will find eight body language killers that will leave your audience underwhelmed and unimpressed. Train yourself to avoid them, and you’ll see that simple changes can make all the difference.

　　Mistake #1. Avoiding eye contact.

　　Do you read directly from a PowerPoint presentation instead of addressing the audience? In a one-on-one conversation, do you glance to the side, down at your feet, or at the desk? Ever catch yourself looking over the shoulder of the person you’re talking to? What it says about you is that you lack confidence, you are nervous and unprepared.

　　The winning technique: Keeping your eyes on your audience. Spend 80% to 90% of the time looking into the eyes of your listeners. The vast majority of people spend far too much time looking down at notes, PowerPoint slides or at the table in front of them. Not surprisingly, most speakers can change this behavior instantly simply by watching video of themselves. Powerful business leaders look at their listeners directly in the eye when delivering their message.

　　Mistake #2. Blocking: putting something between you and your listeners.

　　Another common mistake is putting something between you and your listeners. Crossing your arms, standing behind a podium or chair, or talking to someone from behind a computer monitor are all examples of blocking, which prevents a real connection from taking place. Even a folder on a desk can break the connection and create distance.

　　The winning technique: Staying “open.” Keep your hands apart and your palms up, pointed toward the ceiling. Remove physical barriers between you and your listeners.

　　Mistake #3. Fidgeting, rocking or swaying.

　　What it says about you is that you’re nervous, unsure or unprepared. So, stop fidgeting. Fidgeting, rocking and swaying don’t serve any purpose. Let’s imagine for a second a top executive of a computer company who has to deliver the news of a product delay to a major investor. He and his team actually have the event under control, and they have learned valuable lessons from their failure. But his body language suggests otherwise.

　　His biggest problem is rocking back and forth as he delivers the presentation. It reflects a lack of competence and control. By eventually learning to move with purpose, he can avoid career suicide. The investor will leave the next presentation confident that the project is well under control.

　　Mistake #4. Keeping your hands in your pockets or clasped together.

　　Keeping your hands stiffly by your side or stuck in your pockets can give the impression that you’re uninterested, uncommitted or nervous — whether you are or not.

　　The solution here is too simple: Take your hands out of your pocket and use them for purposeful, assertive hand gestures. Engaging both hands above the waist is an example of a complex hand gesture that reflects complex thinking and gives the listener confidence in the speaker.

　　Mistake #5. Standing or sitting perfectly still.

　　Ineffective speakers barely move, staying in one spot during a presentation. What it says about them: They are rigid, nervous, boring — not engaging or dynamic.

　　The winning technique: Animate your body, not your slides. Walk. Move. Most speakers think they need to stand ridged in one place. What they don’t realize is that movement is not only acceptable, it’s welcome. Some of the greatest business speakers walk into the audience, and are constantly moving… but with purpose!

　　For example, a dynamic speaker will walk from one side of the room to another to deliver their message. He points to a slide instead of reading from it, places his hand on someone’s shoulders instead of keeping the distance.

　　Mistake #6. Slouching, leaning back, or being hunched over.

　　Poor posture is often associated with a lack of confidence and can reflect — or be presumed to reflect — a lack of engagement or interest. What it says about you: You are unauthoritative; you lack confidence.

　　The winning technique: Keeping your head up and back straight. When standing stationary, place feet at shoulder width and lean slightly forward — you will look far more interested, engaged, and enthusiastic. Pull your shoulders slightly forward as well — you’ll appear more masculine. Head and spine should be straight. Don’t use a tabletop or podium as an excuse to lean on it.

　　Mistake #7. Using phony gestures.

　　What it says about you is that you’re overcoached, unnatural or artificial. Use gestures; just don’t overdo it. Researchers have shown that gestures reflect complex thought. Gestures leave listeners with the perception of confidence, competence and control. But the minute you try to copy a hand gesture, you risk looking contrived — like a bad politician.

　　President George Bush Sr. used gestures that were often incongruous with his words, as if he had been overcoached. It was like watching mismatched audio in a bad B-movie. You may not command quite as wide an audience as President Bush did, but, nonetheless, the last thing you want is for your own colleagues and friends to make fun of you after a meeting.

　　Mistake #8. Jingling coins, tapping toes & other annoying movements.

　　What it says about you is that you’re nervous, unpolished or insufficiently concerned with details. Use a video camera to tape yourself. Play it back with a critical eye. Do you find annoying gestures that you weren’t aware of? I once watched an author who had written a book on leadership discuss his project. He couldn’t help but jingle all the coins in his pocket throughout the entire talk. He didn’t sell very many books that day, and he certainly didn’t score points on the leadership scale.

　　Nervous energy will reflect itself in toe-tapping, touching your face or moving your leg up and down. It’s an easy fix once you catch yourself in the act!

　　Dynamic and powerful body language will help you kick up the power of your presentations, whether you’re interviewing for a job, climbing the career ladder or occupying the corner office. So work on your body language. Pay as much attention to it as the words you use, and watch your influence soar!