马俊杰这个名字怎么样:否认的利与弊

否认是一种心理应对机制，它让你有时间去适应痛苦境遇——但是持续的否认能干扰问题的处理，或者影响你应对挑战的能力。

If you're in denial, you're not being realistic about something that's happening in your life — something that might be obvious to those around you.

如果你处于否认状态，你会对生活中发生的事抱有不现实的想法——而这些事对于周围其他人来说是显而易见的。

In some cases, a little denial can be a good thing. Being in denial for a short period can be a healthy coping mechanism, giving you time to adjust to a painful or stressful issue. It might also be a precursor to making some sort of change in your life. Still, denial has a dark side. Being in denial for too long can prevent you from effectively dealing with issues that require action, such as a health crisis or a financial situation.

有些情况下，稍稍否认是有益的。短时间处于否认状态是健康的心理防卫机制，让你有时间去适应痛苦的或是压力大的事件，它也可能成为生活中某种变化的先导。然而，否认也有不好的一面。长期处于否认状态会导致你无法有效地解决一些问题，这些问题需要行动力，诸如健康危机或财政问题。

Find out when denial can help — and when it can be a roadblock.

要明确何时否认是有利的——何时会成为绊脚石。

Understanding denial and its purpose

了解什么是否认，以及否认的目的

Refusing to acknowledge that something's wrong is a way of coping with emotional conflict, stress, painful thoughts, threatening information and anxiety.

否认即拒绝去认识到问题的发生，它是一种应对情感冲突、压力、痛苦、威胁和焦虑的心理防御机制。

When you're in denial, you:

当你处于否认状态，你会：

    Refuse to acknowledge a stressful problem or situation

拒绝去认识到问题或形势的严峻性

    Avoid facing the facts of the situation

逃避现实

    Minimize the consequences of the situation

轻视问题的后果

In its strictest sense, denial is an unconscious process. You don't generally decide to be in denial about something. But some research suggests that denial might have a conscious component — on some level, you might choose to be in denial.

从严格意义上来说，否认是一种潜意识过程，你通常不是有意地否认某事。但是一些研究表明，否认可能包含有意识的成分——在某种程度上，你能够选择处于否认状态。

Common reasons for denial

否认的常见原因

You can be in denial about anything that makes you feel vulnerable or threatens your sense of control, such as:

你可以否认任何令你感到受挫或者威胁自我掌控感的事物，例如：

    A chronic or terminal illness

    Depression or other mental health conditions

    Addiction

    Financial problems

慢性病或是处于晚期的疾病

毒瘾

财政问题

    Job difficulties

工作难题

    Relationship conflicts

人际关系矛盾

    Traumatic events

创伤性事件

You can be in denial about something happening to you or to someone else.

你可以因发生在自身或是他人身上的事件而进入否认状态。

Situations in which denial can be helpful

在哪些情况下否认有益

Refusing to face facts might seem blatantly unhealthy. Sometimes, though, a short period of denial can be helpful. Being in denial gives your mind the opportunity to unconsciously absorb shocking or distressing information at a pace that won't send you into a psychological tailspin.

逃避现实可能看似非常不利于健康，然而，在有些情况下，短期的否认状态是有益的。否认状态能使你在无意识地接受震惊的或悲伤的信息时，有机会控制接受的速度，而不至于使心理陷入混乱。

For example, after a traumatic event, you might need several days or weeks to fully process what's happened and come to grips with the challenges ahead. Imagine what might happen if you find a lump in your throat. You might feel a rush of fear and adrenaline as you imagine it's cancer. So you decide to ignore the lump, hoping it'll go away on its own. But when the lump is still there a week later, you consult your doctor.

例如，经历创伤性事件之后，也许你需要几天或者几个星期来接受所发生的一切，然后着手应对即将到来的挑战。想象一下，如果你在喉部发现了一个肿块，由于担心是癌症，恐惧感和肾上腺素会一起向你袭来。于是你决定无视这个肿块，希望它能自己消退。但当一个星期后肿块仍然存在，你就去咨询医生了。

This type of denial is a helpful response to stressful information. You initially denied the distressing problem. As your mind absorbed it, however, you came to approach it more rationally and took action by seeking help. 

这种类型的否认是应对压力信息的有益反应。最初你否认令人苦恼的问题，然而，当理智接受该问题以后，你开始更现实地对待它，然后采取寻求帮助的行动。

Situations in which denial can be harmful

在哪些情况下否认有害

But what if you had continued to be in denial about the lump and tried to forget about it entirely? What if you never sought help? If denial persists and prevents you from taking appropriate action, such as consulting your doctor, it's a harmful response.

但是如果针对肿块，你一直处于否认状态，而且试着把它全然遗忘会怎么样？不去寻求帮助会怎么样？如果持续地否认，不去采取合理的行动，例如咨询医生，那么否认就是不利的反应。

Consider these examples of unhealthy denial:

考虑以下不利于健康的否认的例子：

    A college student witnesses a violent shooting but claims not to be affected by it.

一名大学生目击了一场暴力射杀事件，但是声称并没有因此受到影响。

    The partner of an older man in the end stage of life refuses to discuss health care directives and wills, insisting that he's getting better.

一名处于生命终期的老年男性，他的伴侣拒绝讨论医疗指令和遗嘱问题，坚信病人正在好转。

    An administrator periodically misses a morning meeting after drinking excessively the night before, but insists there's no problem because the work is still getting done.

一名管理人员不时地缺席晨会，原因是前一天晚上饮酒过度，但坚信这不算什么问题，因为工作仍然能完成。

    A couple are ringing up so much credit card debt that they toss the bills aside because they can't bear to open them.

一对夫妻的信用卡大量超限，由于无法面对，于是把账单丢在一边。

    The parents of a young daughter with drug addiction keep giving her "clothing" money.

一名有毒瘾的年轻女孩，其家长仍然不间断地给她“买衣服”的钱。

In situations such as these, denial might prevent you or your loved one from getting help, such as treatment or counseling, or dealing with problems that can spiral out of control — all with potentially devastating long-term consequences.

在上述情形下，否认会阻止你和你爱的人去寻求帮助，例如治疗、咨询或者处理可能失控的问题——这些问题可能带来潜在的毁灭性的长期后果。

Moving past denial

走出否认状态

When faced with an overwhelming turn of events, it's OK to say, "I just can't think about all of this right now." You might need time to work through what's happened and adapt to new circumstances. But it's important to realize that denial should only be a temporary measure — it won't change the reality of the situation.

当面对势不可挡的转折事件时，你可以说“我无法立刻接受这个现实”。也许你需要时间去消化所发生的事情，去适应全新的环境。但是一定要意识到否认只是一个临时措施——它不会改变现状。

It isn't always easy to tell if denial is holding you back. If you feel stuck or if someone you trust suggests that you're in denial, however, you might try these strategies:

如果你被否认蒙蔽，那么走出否认状态不那么容易。然而，如果你感到困惑，或者信赖的人提醒你，说你正处于否认状态，那么试试以下的策略：

    Honestly ask yourself what you fear.

诚实地自问：你恐惧的是什么。

    Think about the potential negative consequences of not taking action.

考虑不采取行动带来的潜在不良后果。

    Allow yourself to express your fears and emotions.

让自己去宣泄恐惧感和情绪。

    Try to identify irrational beliefs about your situation.

判断出针对当前状况的不现实的想法。

    Journal about your experience.

写下你的经历。

    Open up to a trusted friend or loved one.

向可信赖的朋友和亲密的人敞开胸怀。

    Participate in a support group.

参加支援团体。

If you don't seem to be making much progress dealing with a stressful situation on your own — you're stuck in the denial phase — consider talking to a mental health provider. He or she can help you find healthy ways to cope with the situation rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

在你独自应对应激情境进展甚微时——你受困于否认状态——那么就考虑与心理健康提供者谈话。他/她能帮你找到健康的方式来应对问题，而不是试图掩饰问题。

When a loved one needs help moving beyond denial

帮助所爱的人走出否认状态

You might find it incredibly frustrating when someone you care about is in denial about an important issue. But before demanding that your loved one face the facts, take a step back. Try to determine if he or she just needs a little time to work through the issue.

当你在意的人否认一件重要事物时，也许会使你无比沮丧。但是在要求你所爱的人面对现实之前，后退一步，试着明确他/她是否只是需要一点时间来消化该事物。

At the same time, let the person know that you're open to talking about the subject, even if it makes both of you slightly uncomfortable. Ultimately, this may give your loved one the security he or she needs to move forward and take action.

同时，让所爱的人知道你乐于一起讨论该事物，即使那会使你们都感觉轻微不快。最终，这会给予你所爱的人安全感，以便他/她走出否认状态并采取行动。

If your loved one is in denial about a serious health issue, such as depression, cancer or an addiction, broaching the issue may be especially difficult. Offer support and empathetic listening. Don't try to force someone to seek treatment, which could lead to angry confrontations. Offer to meet together with a doctor or mental health provider. If the impasse remains, consider counseling for yourself to help you cope with your distress and frustration.

如果你所爱的人否认严重的健康问题，例如抑郁症、癌症或毒瘾。一起讨论该问题会变得尤其困难，此时要提供支持和设身处地的倾听。不要强迫他们去治疗，那会导致愤怒的对抗。可以一起去见医生或者精神健康提供者。如果僵持不下，考虑咨询他人，以便处理因此带来的自身苦恼和沮丧。