饭店酒酿圆子的做法:“狗屁”哲学家

“狗屁”哲学家

Sep 4, 2011 10:00 AM EDT 

“每日野兽”（Daily Beast）新闻网2011年9月4日讯

作者：威廉·昂德希尔（William Underhill）

译者：江烈农

British academic Stephen Law is intent on warning people about the perils of bullshit. 

英国学者史蒂芬·洛抱定决心警醒世人：胡说八道不可轻信，谨防狗屁莫中圈套！

First, a credulity test. Do you believe the Bible foretold the assassination of John F. Kennedy? Or that 9/11 was a Jewish conspiracy? Or that, despite the fossil record, the world is less than 10,000 years old?

　　首先呢，来测试一下你的“被忽悠度”：你相不相信《圣经》里预言了美国总统肯尼迪会遭暗杀？或这么问吧：你信不信9·11是个犹太人的阴谋？又或者说，先不管化石记录揭露的事实，你信不信这个世界从诞生至今其实还没超过10000年？

If so, the news is bad. Chances are you’ve tumbled into “an intellectual black hole,” the favored term of British philosophy professor Stephen Law for a mental accident that’s dangerously common and is “capable of sucking people in and holding them captive so they become willing slaves of claptrap.” Your wacky belief may seem reasonable to you; be assured, it isn’t.

　　上述这些言论，如果你信了，那你就完了，你很有可能已经跌入了一个“知识黑洞”。这个词，是英国哲学教授斯蒂芬·洛发明的，他很喜欢这个词，他认为人们的脑子经常容易冷不丁被门挤一下，然后就会掉入这么个“吸你、吮你、俘虏你，让你心甘情愿被奴役的假大空深渊。”你所深信的非主流对你来说可能看似合理；但请各位听好了：那都是放狗屁。

Now, the good news. Law’s latest work, Believing Bullshit, sets out a spotter’s guide to the standard techniques of intellectual quackery, to help the unwitting among us.

　　不过呢，还有救！洛教授的最新作品《相信狗屁》旨在提供一套指南，总结最标准的方法技巧，供人们侦测狗屁歪理，鉴别那些披着知识外衣的大忽悠，帮助我们周围很傻很天真的朋友们不再上当受骗。

It’s important work. Citizens of the 21st century may be better educated than their forebears, but they’re no less ready to drop their intellectual defenses when it comes to, say, the healing powers of crystals or stories of alien abduction. Says Law: “I have become more and more concerned over the last 10 years by the extent to which even intelligent, even college-educated people can end up being sucked into these little black holes of absurdity.”

　　洛教授的贡献十分重要。因为21世纪的公民，比之他们的前辈，虽然可能受到了更好的教育，但其知识防御系统依然弱不禁风、不堪一击；比方说一遇到“水晶治疗术”或“外星人绑架”之类的故事，那么现代人就还是跟古代人一样容易被忽悠。洛教授说：“最近10年来，我越来越担忧，因为我发现好多特别聪明的人，甚至受过大学教育的的人，最终也被吸进这些小黑洞里，陷入荒谬的无底深渊。”

When even world leaders are susceptible, the potential consequences are scary—especially if they have access to the nuclear trigger. Law points out that Ronald Reagan accepted an astrologer’s advice during his time in the White House and George W. Bush took America to war in Iraq on the basis of what he believed to be God-given intuition. “Maybe the biggest worry is that this kind of bullshit may ultimately bring about the end of the world.”

　　所谓骨化风成，一旦世界各国领导人也变得如此没有定力，那么结果将不堪设想——尤其是如果这些领导人手里还掌握着核武器的遥控器。洛教授指出美国前总统里根在其任期时就曾接受过一个占星家的建议，而小布什之所以发动美国出兵伊拉克，也是因为他相信上帝赋予自己的直觉。洛教授说：“也许我们最应该担心的，是狗臭屁如此之流终将招致世界末日。”

So how do we strengthen our skeptical skills? Some of Law’s prescriptions are simple. Beware, for example, the language of “Pseudo-profundity.” Any references to vague “forces,” “energies,” or “balances” should ring loud alarm bells. Be alert for “Playing the Mystery Card,” the practice of appealing to a mystery that defies science. Or the “I Just Know” mechanism, which rests on the assertion that a belief has been revealed by “some sort of psychic or god-sensing faculty.” Watch out, too, for the “Pressing Your Buttons” method, typical of cults and totalitarian regimes, which depend on control, repetition, or emotional manipulation to win over adherents.

　　那么，我们如何加强自身的怀疑技能呢？洛教授开出了一些十分简单易行的处方，例如要小心“伪深奥”的语言：读到任何含糊其辞的“力量”、“能量”或“平衡”什么的玩意儿，你就应该给自己敲响警钟了。警惕“打神秘牌、玩深沉”的把戏：任何言论，只要带有神秘倾向，就一定是在违背科学。要小心“我反正知道”这种逻辑：不管是谁，不管他多么坚定，信誓旦旦宣称自己的信念来源于“某种精神感应或神的旨意”，他都是在放屁。还要小心那种所谓“狂点你死穴”的惯用伎俩，这在邪教、狂热宗教或极权主义政权十分常见，他们一般通过权力控制、重复灌输、或情感操纵等方法拉拢信徒。

（原书封面|图片来源：“每日野兽”新闻网）

While one may come away from Believing Bullshit feeling a bit guilty for indulging in that lucky rabbit’s foot, it helps that Law is no ponderous academic with an obscure vocabulary. This is a philosopher who likes mountain climbing and playing the drums in a rock band. A high-school dropout—“asked to leave at 17”—Law spent seven years working as a postman and a sandblaster before a fascination with the big questions of philosophy drove him back to college. “I did a lot of reading; one book led to another and eventually I found I was reading nothing but philosophy books. Finally it occurred to me that this was something you could study at university.”

　　有的人读完《相信狗屁》后，可能对自己内心深处小小的封建迷信深感羞愧，这没必要，因为大家已经看出来了，洛教授行文措辞自由奔放，他本人也并不是那种高处不胜寒的“砖家”。他是个哲学家，同时也是个摇滚乐队的鼓手，喜欢登山。他高中辍学——“17岁时被劝退”，之后七年，他干的是邮差和喷沙工的活儿，但同时又深深被哲学这个大问号所吸引，最终回到了正规学校学习，念了大学。“我大量阅读，一本接一本，最终发现自己只喜欢读哲学书。然后我突然意识到：想学哲学，那我可以念大学呀，大学不就有哲学课嘛。”

Happily, the authorities at London’s City University overlooked his absence of formal qualifications, a decision vindicated by Law’s rapid success. Within a few years Law was teaching at Oxford, and at age 36 he was professor of philosophy at Heythrop College, part of London University.

　　很幸运，伦敦城市大学的领导比较看重他的社会成绩，所以忽略了他缺乏正规学校成绩这件事，吸收他入学。而短短几年后，他就已经站上了牛津大学的讲台，并于36岁时当上了伦敦大学海斯洛普学院的教授。

（洛教授与牛津中年美女哲学家Marianne Talbot合照 | 图片来源：洛教授Blogspot博客）

Law thinks that an early grounding in philosophy can be of critical importance. He’s produced two jargon-free primers called The Philosophy Files, which help schoolchildren think through some of the trickiest of big philosophical issues. (The most popular question with kids, according to Law, is whether it’s right to eat meat—though “Where does the universe come from” is also a strong contender.) Too often, education today leaves kids vulnerable, he says. “It just equips people to accept what they are told and regurgitate it, so they don’t have robust intellectual defenses. And if you don’t have robust intellectual defenses then people are going to take advantage of you. It seems to me that every child should have some immunity to bullshit built into their upbringing.” 

　　洛教授认为，尽早建立哲学基础对个人而言十分重要。目前，他已经出版了两本完全没有哲学术语的哲学启蒙读物，叫《少年哲学奇思录》（译注：漓江出版社），引导学龄儿童思考最深奥的哲学难题。（据洛教授讲，小孩子最爱问的哲学问题，是人们到底不该吃肉；不过“宇宙从哪儿来”这个问题自然也十分受欢迎。）所谓熟视无睹、习焉不察，可当今的教育的确是让小孩子们越来越脆弱，洛教授说：“现在所谓教育，只是让人们学会如何言听计从、如何吃别人吐出来的饭菜，所以他们缺乏强有力的知识防御系统。而如果你没有强有力的知识防御系统，那么有人就会利用这一弱点，占你便宜。依我看，每个小孩都应该早早建立起一套‘狗屁免疫系统’，这样才能茁壮成长。”