双语：迪斯尼电影误导了我们这代人的人生

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　　Maybe we're too hard on Disney. After all, they simply remake classic stories in cartoon form. What's not to like?

Well, as you'll see, it all depends on just how much thought youapply to it. Here's seven pretty terrible lessons that Disney filmstaught us, whether they meant to or not.

　　可能我们对迪士尼要求太高了，毕竟他们只不过用动画重新演绎了经典的故事而已。有什么不招人喜欢的？

　　即然这样，那好吧，就像你会看到的，这完全取决于你花了多少心思来研究。不论是否出于本意，下面7件挺可怕的事情可都是迪斯尼电影教给我们的。

　　#7.

　　The Lion King: To Be Successful, Sometimes People Got to Die

　　Simba always knew that he was going to succeed his father, Mufasa,as the next Lion King. But fate liked spitting in poor little Simba'sface, and his dear old dad got trampled to death by wildebeests. Ofcourse, Mufasa's death was really caused by the evil Scar, Simba'suncle.

　　Later, all grown up, he reclaims his thrown and Scar suffers thedouble whammy of falling off a cliff and getting torn apart by hyenas.So after two particularly nasty and horrendous deaths, Simba finallybecomes the lion king.

　　The Supposed Message:

　　We all have responsibilities we can't ignore. And don't trust that creepy uncle.

　　The Actual Message:

　　In order for you to be successful, other people will have to pay.And ultimately, that's okay, because the ends justify the means!

　　First you have Scar, who knew he couldn't be king of the pridelandsuntil that dick Mufasa and his brat son were out of the way. So Scardid away with both of them, killing Mufasa and banishing Simba, and, as aresult, he got to be king for a descent amount of time.

　　Then when Simba started to grow some balls, he took back histhrone... but only after Scar himself took a dirt nap. It's true thatSimba didn't intentionally kill him, but you know who did? Thescreenwriter. After all, the movie doesn't end with Simba convincingScar to renounce his evil ways, or putting Scar in lion jail.

　　No，the message was sent loud and clear: Simba could not be the trueking unless Scar was dead. And they even arranged it so that Simbawouldn't have any of the pesky guilt that would have come with actuallydoing the deed himself. Everyone lived happily ever after. Except Scarof course, whose body was slowly pooped out by several hyenas the nextday.

　　#7 狮子王：要成功，就必须要死人

　　辛巴从来就知道自己有朝一日要继承父亲穆法沙的王位，成为下一任狮子王。不过命运却狠狠扇了可怜的小辛巴一个耳光，他亲爱的老爹落入陷阱被一群疯牛杀死了。当然，穆法沙的死其实是邪恶的刀疤，也就是辛巴的叔叔，一手造成的。

　　当辛巴长大了辛巴向刀疤进行加倍的报复，刀疤从从悬崖上摔下去，并被土狼撕得粉碎。所以，在经过了两起无耻而又骇人听闻的凶杀案之后，辛巴终于成为了狮子王。

　　本想传达的信息：

　　我们都有不可推卸的责任。还有，不要轻信邪恶的叔叔。

　　实际传达的信息：

　　为了你的成功，被人将会付出代价。最终，一切都皆大欢喜，因为成败论英雄，结局将会赋予手段新的意义。

　　首先，有刀疤这个家伙，他知道自己当不了荣耀之地的国王，除非铲除掉该死的穆法沙和他乳臭未干的儿子。所以刀疤把他们两个都解决了——杀了穆法沙，赶走了辛巴，所以，他才在国王的宝座上做了挺长一段时间。

　　然后，当辛巴有了点男子汉的模样，他开始复仇了……但是，只有在刀疤自己干了恶心勾当之后。辛巴是没有存心杀死他，你知道谁想这么干？编剧。毕竟电影的结局不是辛巴规劝刀疤改邪归正，或者打刀疤关进大牢。

　　电影传递的信息再清楚不过：除非刀疤死，辛巴成不了真正的王者。编剧甚至编出最后的桥段让辛巴不用亲手除掉刀疤，这样就可以不必受到良心谴责！所有人都过上了幸福的生活。当然，除了刀疤——第二天，几只土狼就把他的尸体啃干净了。

#6.Cinderella: Sort of Like "The Secret"

　　Cinderella is forced by her bitchy stepmother to clean the housefrom stem to stern every day. The only thing that prevents her fromswallowing a bottle of pain killers is her belief that someday herdreams will come true.

　　One day Cinderella plans to attend a ball thrown by the prince, butthe fact that she has a cutthroat bitch for a stepmother completelyslipped her mind. She is forbidden from going.

　　Luckily, it turns out Cinderella has a fairy godmother, who usesher magic to hook Cinderella up with a ride, a beautiful outfit and apair of what would seem like grossly impractical glass heels. At theball Cinderella uses her innate flirting skills and rocks the prince'sworld, to the point that the next day the prince whisks her away to behis princess.

　　The Supposed Message:

　　Dreams do come true!

　　The Actual Message:

　　If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.

　　No one is denying the fact that Cinderella's life was one big shitstain. But in her state of mind, she actually thought that her dreamswould just sort of happen if she sat around being miserable long enough.It never occurred to her that she had the ability to just tell herstepmother to go fuck herself.

　　Instead she kept scrubbing floors and believing that, if shecontinued to wish very hard and take absolutely no action, everythingwould fall into place. And what do you know, the bitch gets a fuckingkingdom out of it.

　　So don't worry, girls. Some kind of "Fairy Godmother" will sweepinto your life at any moment, and find you a man to take care ofeverything. Just keep wishing!

　　#6灰姑娘：不能说的秘密

　　灰姑娘被邪恶的继母强迫每天从早到晚打扫屋子，惟一一件不让她吞下整瓶止疼药自杀的原因就是她相信有一天梦想会变成现实。

　　一天，灰姑娘确定去参加王子举办的误会，不过现实是，该死的继母完全粉碎了她的计划。她出不去了。

　　幸运的是，灰姑娘有个仙女教母。她用魔法给灰姑娘变出一辆马车、一身美丽的衣服，还有一双水晶鞋。在舞会上，灰姑娘大出风头，成功地闯进了王子的世界，以至于第二天王子就请求她成为王妃。

　　本想传达的信息：

　　美梦一定能成真！

　　实际传达的信息：

　　只要你等得够久，总会有人给你帮助。

　　没有人否认灰姑娘命运坎坷。不过在她的脑袋里，她实际认为只要自己忍辱负重，总有一天她的梦想会变成现实。她从来没想过自己有能力直接告诉继母滚远点。

　　她不停地擦着地板，并坚信：只要她继续努力祈祷、什么也不做，所有事情都会好起来。看看后来怎样了，巫婆居然给她弄来了个王国！

　　所以，姑娘们，别担心。总一天，会有一位仙女教母进入你的世界，给找个能照料一切的好男人。继续祈祷吧！

　#5.

　　The Little Mermaid: A Little Deal with the Devil Never Hurt Nobody

　　A little mermaid named Ariel, who is presumably little in titleonly since she has one impressively big rack, dreams of living her lifeon shore and finding her true love. Well, a clearly evil sea-witch namedUrsula offers to give the naive mermaid legs in exchange for somethingshe probably might need in the future: her voice.

　　When Ariel makes it to shore, she realizes the Sea-Bitch screwedher, as her legs work with the grace of a drunken paraplegic and shecan't speak. So now she must somehow make Prince Eric fall in love withher while appearing to be either mute or retarded.

　　By some miracle, the prince takes the bait (again, note the rack)but then Ursula, who in the cartoon seems to be portrayed as a blackdrag queen, goes after the couple. The prince is forced to kill Ursulaby stabbing her with a ship. As a result, Ariel gets both her legs andher voice.

　　The Supposed Message:

　　True love conquers all!

　　The Actual Message:

　　A little compromise with evil is okay, as long as everything works out okay in the end!

　　Ariel loved to sing, and she sang pretty damn well. But she wantedto live on shore and find love so bad that she made a "deal" with a"devil" and "sells" her beautiful voice, or "soul" so to speak.

　　And guess what? It worked. Sure, the writers threw in somecomplications in the form of Prince Eric having to send Ursula straightto Disney Hell, but the fact of the matter remains that Ariel wouldnever have gotten to meet Prince Eric at all had she not compromisedwith the evil queen in the first place. She made a figurative deal withthe devil, got everything she wanted and came out completely unscathed.

　　So keep that in mind if you have to, say, sleep with some dude toget that acting role. None of that will matter once you achieve yourdreams!

　　#5 小美人鱼：和恶魔的小交易伤害不了任何人

　　小美人鱼叫做爱丽儿，之所以被称之为“小”美人鱼，是因为她有一个很大野心：梦想着在岸上生活，并找到自己的真爱。一个不坏好心的巫婆厄斯拉说她可以给这个天真的美人鱼一双腿，但是必须用她以后可能需要的一样东西来交换：她的声音。

　　当爱丽儿来到岸上，她才发现海妖耍了她：她的腿走起路来就像醉汉一样蹒跚，并且她不能说话。现在，她必须让诶瑞克王子爱上她，尽管她看起来是个哑巴或者是个弱者。

　　奇迹发生了，王子上钩了，不过厄斯拉——在动画里被画成一个黑乎乎的男扮女装的家伙——却盯上了这对有情人。王子被迫用船头刺死了厄斯拉。因此，爱丽儿才能获得双腿和声音。

　　本想传达的信息：

　　爱情无往不利！

　　实际传达的信息：

　　跟恶魔达成的小交易没关系，只要结局一切都好就行！

　　爱丽儿喜欢唱歌，而且她唱的非常棒。不过她太想生活在岸上、找到爱情了，所以她和“恶魔”做了笔“交易”，“出卖”了自己的好嗓子，或者是说话的“灵魂”。

　　你猜怎么着？还真管用。当然，编剧们还是让诶瑞克王子费了翻周折才把厄斯拉送进了迪斯尼地狱，不过事实毕竟是如果爱丽儿开始没对恶魔让步，她根本遇不到艾瑞克王子。

　　所以，比方说，你不得不“潜规则”，记住：只要你打成愿望，所有这些都见鬼去吧！和恶魔的这笔买卖很合算，她得到了想要的一些还毫发无损地脱身了。