陕西 旅游 春节:如何得到你真正想要的：一个自己的故事

如何得到你真正想要的—一个自己的故事1

I don’t often write about my personal relationships but this story would benefit too many people to not talk about it. So here it goes… (and I hope the people who are in the story either won’t read it or won’t get offended for being mentioned:))

我不常写自己的事情，但是这个故事将会对很多人有益所以不得不谈谈。那从这里开始...(我希望故事里的人不要读到这篇文章或者不会感到被冒犯：）)1

When I came to the UK (in 2006 I guess) I started dating one guy a few weeks after coming to this country. This was a long-term relationship that I talked about here and we split up and made up multiple times during the years of our life together. However what I didn’t mention is that there was another guy involved in this story.

当我来到英国（我猜是在2006年），来到这个国家后我开始和一个人约会了几周。我这里提到的是个长期的关系，在我们一起生活的几年里我们分分合合好几次。然而我没有提过的是故事中还涉及到另外一个人。

When I started studying at Luton university one day me and my friend where chatting next to the exit door. Another friend saw us and approached us with her male-friend. Well that male-friend (let’s call him Stuart) was a really cool guy and we became good buddies.

我在卢敦大学学习的一天，我和我的朋友在教室门口聊天。另一个朋友看见我们并和她的一个男性朋友一起走过来。她的这个朋友（我们可以叫他Stuart）是一个很酷的男孩我们最后也变成了好朋友。

Although I had a suspicion that Stuart liked me, I couldn’t know for sure because he didn’t display any obvious signs that would indicate that. After studies we would take a walk around the town talking about life and the future, we would also invite each other home for parties or meals with other friends.

虽然我怀疑Stuart喜欢我，我不能确定因为他从来没有任何明显的表现。学习结束后我们会在镇上散步，谈谈生活和未来，我们也会邀请对方去家里参加party或是和其他朋友一起吃饭。

Although we did the usual stuff friends do my suspicion grew about his affection towards me because whenever I would have time to meet he would drop everything to be with me.

虽然我们还是普通朋友，但是我的怀疑却有增长，因为当我去见他的时候他会放下手里的任何事情。

One day, I remember, I had a fight with my boyfriend (let’s call him Andrew) and at that time I was staying in London. Well as soon as Stuart found out he came from Luton to London late evening and cheered me up until I felt okay.

一天，我记得，我和我男朋友（我们可以叫他Andrew）吵架了,当时我住在伦敦。当Stuart发现这件事情，晚上从卢顿来到伦敦陪我一起玩直到我心情变好。

When Andrew found out that I was sometimes seeing Stuart, he really got upset about it. And although I told Andrew that me and Stuart were really just friends, he asked me not to see him again. I put myself in the shoes of Andrew and realised how he must be feeling and so I decided not to see Stuart again.

Andrew发现我有时会去见Stuart，他对此很生气。虽然我告诉Andrew我和Stuart真的只是朋友，但是他告诉我不要再去见他了。我从Andrew的角度思考明白他的感受，所以我决定不再见Stuart了。

Two long years passed by without me seeing Stuart but he never gave up. Not even once did he miss calling me to wish a happy birthday or a happy new year. He remembered all the important dates we had together and always emailed me and sent me text messages. I didn’t respond to most of them. Sometimes I felt really sorry for him being ignored by me so I would send some lame apologetic message with an excuse of why I can’t answer his calls/emails/messages.

两年过去了，我没有见过Stuart，但是这两年中他从未放弃。每次生日还有新年他都会打电话祝福我。他记得我们曾经一起过的每个重要的日子，并且常常发邮件和短信给我。大多数我都不会回应。有时我真的因为一直忽视他感觉很抱歉，所以我会发一些有歉意的信息并解释为什么我不能回他的电话/邮件/信息。

Even when I was no longer with Andrew I so got into this habit of ignoring Stuart’s calls that I still kept doing that. Then one day I asked myself why I still ignore his calls and messages when that won’t offend anyone anymore. And so the next time he called I decided to meet with him.

即使当我和Andrew分开后我依然保持着忽视Stuart的电话的习惯。有一天我问我自己为什么一直忽视他的电话和信息，却不可能再是别的什么人。所以当他下一次打给我的时候我决定去见他。1

We arranged to meet in a Costa cafe and I came there earlier to finish some coaching emails. I heard my name being called, looked up and there stood smiling Stuart. We talked about a lot of stuff that happened during the years we didn’t see each other and I did not feel any anger from him towards me for not answering his calls. He was just really happy to finally see me again.

我们约在咖啡馆见面，我早到了一会儿处理一些邮件。我听到有人叫我的名字，抬头看到站着微笑的Stuart。我们谈了很多这两年我们没有见面时发生的事情，从他对我的态度我没有感觉出任何因为我不接他电话生气。他真的因为再次见到我很高兴。

A few days later we met up again and he opened up a bit. He told me that he liked me since the day he met me but felt it inappropriate to tell me that because I had a boyfriend. When I explained that I felt the same way about him he opened up even more and told me that I was the only girl he truly loved. He told me all the things he loved about me which really surprised me. For example, he said that he loved the fact that I never take advice from anyone or I listen to people but then do an opposite thing to what they’re advising me. Usually people dislike this about me so it was nice to hear that from Stuart.

几天后我们又见面了，他聊了很多。他告诉我当他第一天见到我的时候就喜欢我，但是感觉告诉我不合适，因为我有男朋友。当我说我也有相同的感觉时他说了更多，他告诉我我是他真正爱过的唯一的女孩。他还告诉我让我感到惊讶的事情。例如，他说他爱我是因为我从来不采用他人的建议，或者听了但是会做与他们给我建议的相反的事情。通常人们不喜欢我这一点，所以我听Stuart这么说感觉很开心。

He told me that he waited for me all these years. That made me feel a bit upset because I didn’t realise how much sorrow I caused him when I would refuse to answer his calls. But past is past and now I’m very glad that I decided to meet him.

他告诉我这么多年一直在等我。我感到不安因为曾经没有意识到当我拒绝接他电话时他会多么难过。但是过去的已经过去了，现在我很高兴我决定见他。

Now our relationship is getting stronger and more intense as each day passes by. I don’t like to label my experiences but I can freely say that I’m in a loving relationship with a guy whose only goal is to make me happy. And although the timing is very unfortunate (I won’t be staying in UK for long – but about that later on:)) we appreciate each day we have for ourselves.

日子一天天过去了，现在我们的关系越来越好。我不喜欢给我的经历贴上什么标签，但是我可以坦率的说我和唯一目标就是让我快乐的人相爱。虽然时机不是很幸运（我没在英国待多久—但是也过了一段时间：））我们每天都很开心。

So the moral of the story is… If you really really want something in particular, keep taking action and refuse the alternatives until you get it!

这个故事的寓意是...如果你真的特别想要什么东西，保持你的行动并且拒绝其他可选的，直到你得到它。

Or should I say… Regular follow-ups work!:)

或者我应该说说...接下来的事情！：）