双语杂谈：缺乏个性的社交“变色龙”(图)

　　生活中我们拥有的最大财富就是我们的个性。无论是一个发自内心的微笑，一种个性鲜明的风格，一份独具特色的幽默感，一颗深厚博大的同情心，一类特殊的才能或者是我们看世界的一种方式——所有这些都为我们贴上了个性的标签。

　　我注意到我们有时候也会忘了自己的个性，努力想要融入周围的世界。我们像变色龙一样行事，总是希望与周围的环境保持高度的一致。对于变色龙来说，这叫做保护色，对我们也是这样吗？

　　One of the biggest treasures that we have in life is ourindividuality. Whether it is an original smile, an extraordinary senseof style, peculiar humor, deep compassion, special talent or the way wesee the world – all these things make us who we are。

　　I noticed that sometimes we forget about our individuality and tryto blend in with our surroundings. We act like chameleons who want tolook exactly the same as their environment. For chameleons this is adefense strategy, is it the same for us?

　　Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and courage to maintain ourindividuality no matter what. We risk being laughed at, we risk losingfriends or a job, we risk our relationships, we risk being misunderstoodand feeling like losers。

　　You do not think about it until you meet a perfect guy or girl whoyou want to date and who does not support your beliefs (anything fromreligion to nutrition。) You do not think about it until you get a newjob where everybody thinks that your style is ridiculous (and constantlymentions it to you。) You do not think about it until you get to a partywhere nobody understands your jokes and looks at you like you are analien from another planet. You do not think about it until you move to anew country (and sometimes even a city) where everything is sodifferent from what you are used to. At that point your only desire isto blend in and not to stick out like a sore thumb。

　　I think this is a built-in survival instinct that makes us blend inand lose our individuality. Unfortunately, when we lose ourindividuality we also lose happiness in life. We lose that inner balancethat keeps us afloat and lets us withstand any of life's storms。

　　I didn't realize it until I moved to the US. For the first fewmonths I was fascinated with the culture and with everything that thiscountry had to offer. I wanted to embrace it all and to become asnatural in this environment as possible. I tried to dress like anAmerican girl, I was speaking only English in public places (my husbandis fluent in Russian, so most of the time we speak English and Russian50/50) and I tried my best to act like an American. After a few moremonths I understood that I was not happy with whom I became. I didn'twant to blend in anymore and I was happy to show my individuality(cultural in my case) anywhere I went。

　　I do not care when people look back at me when they hear theRussian language. I feel great when I am overdressed (in the Americanopinion) while shopping or going to a family restaurant. I feelabsolutely comfortable exercising in my backyard when all my neighborssee me doing some weird Yoga pose or fighting an imaginary punching bag。

　　I know that most of you do not live in foreign countries howeveryou still face situations where the easiest route seems to blend in andto go with the flow. This is not the easiest route in the long runthough. When you try to be like everybody else you become empty andblank. There is nothing that will tell people around you "WOW, what aninteresting person!"

　　Maintaining and showing your individuality will make you bold (in agood sense of course)， it will make you feel comfortable in anysituation and it will definitely improve your self-esteem (if you haveany issues with it。)

　　A year ago my husband and I went on a road trip to Florida. Westopped at St Augustine to look at the remains of the Castillo de SanMarcos fortress. The fortress was amazing and the landscape was socalming and peaceful. There was a yogi meditating on one of the terracesof the fortress. He was beautiful in his calmness and stillness. Therewere hundreds of people walking past him but it didn't bother him a bit.Then there was a group of silly teenagers who started picking on himbut he remained calm and speechless. He didn't want to blend in eventhough he knew that he would be laughed at and not understood by peoplearound him. This is an image that I will always keep in my head. If youfeel that you try to blend in sometimes then try this simple exercise。

　　First of all think of any situations when you were hiding yourindividuality in order to make people around you like you or treat youlike an equal. What is your individual trait that makes you stick outlike a sore thumb in these situations? I want to ask you to be YOU ineach of these situations. After all, why do you have to adjust yourbehavior in order to seem "normal" in somebody else's eyes? All it takesis a big breath and a winning smile and you are ready to go (and beyou!)

　　Please tell me about your experience in showing your individualityand trying not to blend in. Being YOU is the best and only strategy tolive a balanced and happy life。

　　Keep it balanced!