近身兵王青光楚辞吾读:Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.

关于幸福的十七句名言

个人提升, 生活金点子 October 27th, 2008

幸福的家庭都是相似的，不幸福的家庭各有各的不幸。 —— 列夫·托尔斯泰

让人感到不幸福的原因太多了，但是幸福的人们往往有些通性。这意味着向快乐的人们学习他们的通性是变得快乐的一种方法。

所以我研究了历史上所有伟大的人们是怎么评说“获得幸福”这个问题的。我看了很多关于幸福的名言汲取了其中的深意。这些意义不仅是对生活有帮助的，而且他们是永恒的真理。

现在我愿意和你分享一下我所学习到的东西。闲话少说，一下我列出十七个关于幸福的真理。

1，忘记过去

坏记性是变得幸福的一大法宝。 —— 丽塔·梅·布朗

如果你总是不肯忘掉过去你就无法变得幸福快乐。你犯过错误吗？你有过很糟糕的经历吗？不管曾经发生过什么，都忽略掉。你无法改变过去，所以你最好忽略他们，把所有的精力用在处理当前。

2，对自己的生活负责

幸福的秘诀是得到自由，而自由的秘诀是勇气。 —— 修西得底斯

只有自由了才获得幸福。自由的最根本一点就是有选择的权利。不过情况有多么坏，你还是有权利选择怎样面对。人们可以惹恼你，但是是否对别人发怒完全是由自己决定的。

但是，上面的名言说到：自由需要勇气。自由选择的前提是需要有足够的勇气为选择负责。当情况变得糟糕是不要埋怨别人，承担责任并且记住你有选择的权利。

3，建立关系网络

生活中最幸福之所在是我们一直以来搭建的情感网络。 —— 佚名

我们可以通过情感的网络来活得幸福。原因很简单：只有通过这样的网络我们才能体验爱与被爱。把这些感情当作生活最重要的一部分是寻找真正幸福的必经之路。

4，寻找各种个样的激情

一个人的激情与理想越多，越有可能幸福。 —— 夏洛特·凯瑟琳

激情带你找到幸福。所以你不仅需要进一步增加自己的激情，更要寻找找自己在其他方面更多的激情。这样你又为幸福创造了可能。

寻找激情的方法是好奇心。如果你好奇，你就能发现世界上令人兴奋的事情是无穷无尽的。

5，磨练自己的意志力

意志力是幸福的源泉，幸福来源于自我约束。 —— 乔治·桑塔耶那

磨练自己的意志力是幸福的基础。当你对待你自己和你的朋友的时候能够自律时，你就获得了宁静。

（磨练意志力的方法是做出承诺并且履行承诺。例如：你承诺再也不抽烟。当你真的开始履行的时候，你就是在磨练自己的意志力。再或者你像别人允诺要准时，当你真的开始变得准时了，那就是在磨练你自己的意志力。）

6，成为你自己

一个人成为他自己了，那就是达到了幸福的顶点。 —— 德西得乌·伊拉斯谟

只有当你成为你自己的时候你才能幸福。不要为了迎合他人的需要而为他人活着。大家可能期望你能做什么工作或者是某种确定的生活方式但是不要被他们吓到，你要成为你自己。

7，为自己的人生目标生活

真正的幸福来自于全身心的投入到对我们目标的追求之中。 —— 威廉·考伯

只有你找到了生活的目标然后充满信念去追求，你就能够活得很满足。看看你最在乎什么，然后充满勇气的去追逐。拓展阅读：《怎样设定目标》。

8，记得你获得的祝福

幸福永远是不会光顾那些不珍惜自己所有的人。 —— 佚名

如果我们能保持感恩，我们就能获得快乐幸福。很不幸的是，发现我们没有的东西比发现我们拥有的东西容易的多。有时候我们需要体会失败才能懂得珍惜我们的拥有。所以不要把获得什么当作是理所应当的事情。看看你拥有的东西，你会有很多感到幸福的理由。

9，有积极的思想

不是因为身处何处何种情境，而是因为精神世界，让人或高兴或悲伤。 —— 罗杰·莱斯特兰奇

幸福的人懂得怎样控制自己的思想。他们不会让消极的情绪控制自己。当一个情况看起来可能对某人不利的时候，幸福的人会从积极的方面来考虑。他们坚信再糟糕的情况里也有积极可取的地方。你的精神世界可以成就你也可以毁灭你，所以要好好保护它。

10，有创意的工作

幸福来自成就感，来自富有创造力的工作。 —— 富兰克林·D·罗斯福

当你开始有创造力的做某项工作时，你就会找到快乐。关于这个有一种著名的现象叫做“涨潮”（译者注：一种全神贯注的最佳心灵状态，也就是意识高度集中）， 当你处于涨潮状态时，你就会全身心的投入到你的工作中，感觉不到时间的流逝。这种涨潮体验可以帮助你提高效率，同时获得快乐。

11，从你所拥有的开始

笨人寻找远处的幸福，聪明人在脚下播种幸福。 —— 詹姆斯·奥本汉

幸福的人不会为了幸福去追求那些他们没有的东西。他们不需要特定的工作或者是特定的薪水。恰恰相反，他们学着从自己的拥有获得幸福。他们学会了满足的艺术。满足于自己所拥有的，你就能变得快乐。

12，改变

知者乐水，仁者乐山。知者动，仁者静。知者乐，仁者寿。 —— 孔子

幸福需要你不停的耕耘。事实上，学习的过程就是幸福的过程。你曾经因为什么事情高兴过吗？

13，运用你的智慧

真正的幸福包含了一个人能力与天资的完全运用。 —— 道格拉斯·斐杰斯

从这句话里可以学到两点。一，你必须发现自己的天资。二，你必须完全的使用天资。运用天资工作，肯定能让你享受自己的工作，因为只有你才能完成这个工作。运用天资可以让你更快乐因为你能够在工作中得到最大的满足感。

14，在意身边的小事

幸福不是被巨大的灾难或者是致命的错误扼杀的，而是被不断重复出现的小错一点点分解掉的。 —— 欧内斯特·蒂姆尼特

这一点非常正确。通常不是那些大事毁了你的幸福，反而是一些小事。也许你不喜欢某个人或者是小小的失信，但是这些不起眼的事情真的可以毁掉你幸福，所以要在意它们。

15，放弃野心

野心终止了，幸福就开始了。 —— 佚名

在生活中不断的想要更多不是错误，但是被这些想法缠住可就不好了。尽全力摆脱这些想法的纠缠。

16，让别人开心

幸福就像香水，不是泼在别人身上，而是洒在自己身上。 —— 拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生

这是我最喜欢的一条秘诀。让自己幸福的第一秘方是让别人幸福。越是助人为乐就越快乐。幸福不是来自于自私而是无私。一分耕耘一分收获。

17，学会同情

如果你希望别人快乐，那么请你学会同情。如果你希望自己快乐，那么也请你学会同情。 —— 达赖喇嘛

同情是最高级的无私。像这句话里讲述的一样，同情心可以让你和别人都幸福。但是这需要练习。从关心身边的人开始，看看他们需要什么并且想办法满足他们。即使你没有表现出你的同情心，时间一长也会自己显现出来的。

总的说来，用亚里士多德的一句话总结一下：

幸福来源于我们自己。

是你决定了你自己是否幸福。我选择幸福，你呢？