活:::在:::此:::刻::::(双语散文)

The darkness in a night sky and the vastness of a blue sky during the day are not the same as "emptiness," but distance or space. Galaxies and stars that we are unable to see are moving away from us, and they are making Earth, the little ball whose survival depends on the Sun, more and more isolated. If a slight change occurred to the unimaginable gravity in the universe or multiverse, the Earth would either immediately be frozen into an ice ball or melt under the fierce gaze of the Sun. 

After numerous “coincidences” and evolution, we human beings came into existence.

And how are we living this Life?

Our mind is filled with “late light” and “belated obituaries” and they make it hard for us to live in the moment.  We do not know how to live in the moment because we, knowingly or unknowingly, are troubled by the many already-dead-things, cycles of old thoughts, invisible shackles of unnecessary guilt and a ridiculous sense of insecurity. We have gradually forgotten that we, body and soul, are also stars of luminosity and emotions.

The belated obituary continues to travel towards us without a return address.

Love, too, operates like the synchronization between two celestial entities.

The kind of gravity between two souls is also a miracle of the Universe, but how are we perceiving and appreciating this miracle?

We describe Love using words like disconnect, distant or cold the way astronomers depicting and deciphering planets that move around the Sun: dislocation and tracking bias, distances that cause fatal changes in temperature and so forth.

When two planets or souls are forced together against the law of gravity, the “love” between them also runs against the law of the Universe. Our human mind can only reach and embrace a limited space both in the sky and the galaxy of our emotional universe. The orbit on which our body and soul move is often led to deviation caused by our subjective bias.   

Like the formation of galaxies in the Universe, a full and beautiful life is also made possible by many coincidences.

Humans can not create coincidences; we are the fortunate beneficiaries of coincidences. Imagine a star, once being hit and deviates from its own orbit, might disappear into the bottomless darkness forever, or it might be able to enter the orbit where it belongs in the existing gravity and magnetic fields.

A human body is sometimes motionless or “static” if we want it to be, but not our mind, which is an infinite universe in its own right. Our chaotic thoughts shuttle back and forth on various orbits and they often collide with other planets. Sometimes our mind could lose its direction and unable to find its way back to the original orbit.

Stars, planets and humans alike, we simply know nothing about where the source of the ultimate gravitation comes from. It is beyond our imagination to even “guess” where and why galaxies are moving away in all directions from our own galaxy and our tiny planet.

When I think of the deaths and births of stars hundreds of millions light years away, the trajectory to which every individual life belongs and the miracle of love with hearts’ synchronization, they seem to tell me that a human life is also a luminous entity. In the vast universe of the Soul, we are experiencing various attractions and repulsions with the little light and energy we possess and we long to find the orbit of our own as well as that perfect light no matter how transient it is.

To live in the moment, we should remind ourselves that, at least, we haven’t become “late news” yet.

◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆


诗人李立扬写过：

所有的光
都是迟到的。

无论从科学的角度，还是诗的意象层面，我们肉眼所接收到的与我们的“灵魂之眼”所感受的总是存在着极大的误差。

仰望美丽的星空，无数的星光不过是亿万年前“死去”的星辰向我们发来的、迟到的讣告。还有亿万光年之外的星体，它们的生与死我们根本不知道。

夜空中的黑暗和白昼里浩淼的蓝天并不是“空”的，而是距离。那些我们人类肉眼无力发觉的和慢慢离太阳系远去的星体使得地球－－这个靠太阳生存的一颗小球－－越来越孤独。如果宇宙中那难以想像的万有引力稍有变化，地球就会立即熔化或变成一个被速冻的冰球。

无数的演变与“巧合”才有了我们。

而我们又是如何生存的呢？

活在此刻之所以难，是因为我们的脑空间被太多“迟到的光”和“晚来的讣告”充斥。我们不知如何把握此刻因为我们有意或无意地被早已死亡的东西－－循环的思维、无形的束缚、多余的负疚感、可笑的不安全感等困扰着，我们逐渐忘却了自己也是一个发光体、一个情感的星体。

从遥远的过去翩翩来迟的讣告是没有“回信地址”的。

. . . . . .

爱，也是两个“星体”之间的同步运行。

两颗心灵之间的“万有引力”也是宇宙中的奇迹，但是，我们又是如何认识和呵护这个奇迹。

我们用“错位”、“疏远”、“冷漠”等等描绘爱，正如天文学家描述围绕太阳运转的行星一样：轨道的错位偏差、距离的远近对温度的影响等。当不同轨道的两颗星违背万有引力而强扭在一起时，那样的爱就违背了宇宙的运行法则。只不过我们人类的心智只能觉察到很有限的空间，包括星空和情感的人类空间，而主观的偏差更导致了我们运行轨道的偏离。

生命中的美好也许就像宇宙中星系形成一样充满了巧合。

人类无法“制造”巧合，幸运的人不过是巧合的受益者。想像一颗曾经受创的星星在偏离轨道后，有可能永远地消失在宇宙无尽的黑暗里，也有可能在存在的万有引力和磁场中重新找到适合自己的轨道。

一个静止的人的肉体里，大脑是一个无尽的寰宇，无法静止。思维会在混乱的轨道上穿梭，与其它星体碰撞，甚至无法找到返回属于自己的轨道的方向。

人和星体一样，根本不知道那万有引力的源头究竟在哪儿。

亿万光年之外的死亡和诞生、属于我们每个人生命的轨迹、心灵同步时所发生的爱的奇迹都在告诉我们：我们的生命是个发光体，无论它多么的短暂，我们都在以自己的微小的光线和能量在浩瀚的心灵宇宙中，在与他人的相互吸引和排斥的同时寻找着属于自己的轨道和完美的、曾经存留过的、光的痕迹。

但现在，我们还不是“迟到的消息。”