香港著名旅游景点:我为什么经常顶撞父母？

你吃什么、穿什么、用什么，你去哪儿、怎么到那儿，你跟什么人在一起，你什么时候睡觉，等等。

What do these things have in common, you're asking? They're just a few examples of the many hundreds of things that your parents controlled for you when you were a child. As a kid, you didn't have a say in very much that went on; your parents made decisions about everything from the cereal you ate in the morning to the pajamas you wore at night. And it's a good thing, too — kids need this kind of protection and assistance because they aren't mature enough to take care of themselves and make careful decisions on their own.

你或许会问，这些事情有什么好奇怪的？这只是你孩提时你父母所关心的问题，其实关于你，他们关心的事情还有很多。你对很多事情都没有什么发言权；从早上吃谷类食物到晚上穿睡衣，一切都由你父母替你做决定。这也是一件好事——孩子需要这种保护和帮助，因为他们尚年幼，不能够照顾好自己，也不能够自己审慎地做决定。

But eventually, kids grow up and become teens. And part of being a teen is developing your own identity — one that is separate from your parents'. It's totally normal for teens to create their own opinions, thoughts, and values about life; it's what prepares them for adulthood.

但是，孩子终归会成长并步入青少年时期。作为一名青少年，你开始有自己的见解——这个见解与你父母的有所不同。青少年形成自己的看法、思想和人生价值纯属正常；这意味着他们开始长大成人了。

But as you change and grow into this new person who makes his or her own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting. They aren't used to the new you yet — they only know you as the kid who had everything decided for you and didn't mind.

但是在你开始自己做决定时，你在你父母面前像是完全变了一个人似的，这让他们一时难以接受。他们尚不适应这个全新的你——他们只知道你还是个孩子，他们替你做了一切决定，而你也不介意。

In most families, it's this adjustment that can cause a lot of fighting between teens and parents. You want to cover your walls with posters; they don't understand why you don't like your kiddie wallpaper anymore. You think it's OK to hang at the mall every day after school; they would rather that you play a sport.

在大多数家庭，这就是青少年与父母之间争吵的原因。你想在你的墙上贴海报，而你父母却不明白你为什么不再喜欢你孩提时的墙纸。你认为每天放学后去逛逛商场也没什么大不了，而你父母宁愿你在参加体育运动。

Clashes like these are very common between teens and parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don't respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions.

青少年和父母之间经常发生这类思想冲突——青少年生气是因为他们认为父母不尊重他们，不给他们留下自由活动的空间；而父母生气是因为他们对不管束孩子感到不适应或者他们不同意孩子的决定。

It's easy for feelings to get very hurt when there are conflicts like these. And more complicated issues — like the types of friends you have or your attitudes about sex and partying — can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be intent on protecting you and keeping you safe, no matter how old you are.

发生这类冲突时，感情容易受到很大的伤害。而更复杂的问题——像你有什么样的朋友或者你对性或吃喝玩乐持什么态度——甚至会引起更大的争吵，因为无论你现在多大，你父母始终会有意保护你的安全。

The Upside

积极的一面

The good news about fighting with your parents is that in many families the arguing will lessen as parents get more comfortable with the idea that their teen has a right to certain opinions and an identity that may be different from theirs.

你顶撞父母也有其积极的一面，即在许多家庭，随着父母逐渐觉得他们的孩子有权发表自己的看法和形成自己的见解，并对自己这样想感到宽慰时，争吵将会减少。

It can take several years for parents and teens to adjust to their new roles, though. In the meantime, concentrate on communicating with your parents as best you can.

父母和青少年适应他们的新角色需要数年时间。与此同时，尽量多跟父母交流。

Sometimes this can feel impossible — like they just don't see your point of view and never will. But talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect from your parents, and you may be able to reach compromises that make everyone happy. For example, if you are willing to clean your room in order to stay out an hour later, both you and your parents walk away with a good deal.

有时会觉得这是不可能的——像他们就是不会理解你的看法，永远都不会。但是说出和表达你i的观点有助于你得到父母更多的尊重，而你或许还能够达成和解，这样就皆大欢喜啦。例如，你想清理一下房间，然后在外面呆上个把小时，那么你和你父母都可轻易达成一致意见。

Keep in mind, too, that your parents were teens once and that, in most cases, they can relate to what you're going through.

也请记住，你父母也经历过青少年时期，而在大多数情况下，你所经历的事情，他们是可以理解的。

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD

审阅人：D'Arcy Lyness博士

Date reviewed: November 2010

审阅日期：2010年11月

Originally reviewed by: Jennifer Shroff Pendley, PhD

原审阅人：Jennifer Shroff Pendley博士