双语搞怪：101个整蛊招式让你笑傲愚人节(图)

http://www.sina.com.cn   2010年03月31日 15:37   新浪教育

本文选自《龙的心——剑胆琴心》的博客，点击查看博客原文

整蛊支招

　　Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”

　　留一堆没用的旧软件和一张写着“安装这些”便条

　　Staple your reports in the wrong corner

　　用钉书钉订报告的时候订在错误的一角

　　Put tape over the mouse optics

　　在光学鼠标上粘上胶带

　　Unplug a co-worker’s monitor

　　拔掉某个同事的显示器接线

　　Turn your earphones up all the way

　　把你的耳机音量调到最大 从早到晚带着耳机

　　Sing show tunes

　　唱舞台音乐剧

　　Burn popcorn in the microwave

　　用微波炉爆(焦)爆米花

　　"Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge

　　“忘记”在冰箱里放上你的金枪鱼三明治

　　Turn up the beep volume of the copier

　　把复印机“哔”的音量放大

　　Slurp hot coffee during meetings

　　开会的时候出声地啜热咖啡

　　Walk around the office barefooted

　　光脚在办公室里四处走

　　Misplace peoples pens

　　把人们的笔放错地方

　　Glue their mouse to the desk

　　把他们的鼠标粘在桌子上

　　Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier

　　清空打印机/复印机的纸

　　Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier

　　倒空打印机/复印机的墨或炭粉

　　Practice beat boxing

　　练习节奏口技 (拳击)(参考attaboy ,Angelo 的评论)

　　Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask

　　和生病的员工讲话时带上一个防尘面具

　　Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”

　　在对方说再见之前挂断电话

　　Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon

　　星期五下午把某个员工的办公室清空

　　Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer

　　在他们打开电脑之前插进一张软盘

　　Leave an open can of tuna in their desk

　　在他们桌上放一只开了封的金枪鱼罐头Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver

　　把他们的电脑桌面截成一张图，然后把这张图设成屏保

　　Turn up the contrast on their monitor

　　把他们显示器的对比度调高

　　Talk in a funny accent

　　用可笑的口音说话

　　Use goofy event sounds for your programs

　　给你的电脑程序选用滑稽的事件提示音

　　Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email

　　每次收到新邮件的时候高唱“yeay,我收到了邮件”

　　Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox

　　打印一张假解聘通知书放到他们的信箱里

　　Send flowers from one co-worker to another

　　借某同事之名送花给另一同事

　　Start your car remotely when someone walk by it

　　有人经过的你的车时，用遥控器(远远的就)把你的车发动起来

　　Insist on people to have a great morning

　　坚决要求人们应该有一个美好的早晨

　　Leave hole punches all over

　　随处乱放打孔器

　　Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans

　　把你午餐过后的垃圾放进别人的罐头

　　After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”

　　每啜一口都来一句惬意的“啊……”

　　Put salt on someone’s mouse pad

　　在别人的鼠标垫上撒盐

　　Set a password on someone’s screensaver

　　给别人的屏保设置密码

　　Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down

　　坚持和两个隔间之外的人对话

　　Smirk when a co-worker walks by

　　在一个同事经过的时候傻笑

　　Eat half of someone’s lunch

　　把别人的午餐吃掉一半

　　Swap co-worker’s chairs

　　调换同事的椅子

　　Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times

　　开会的时候假装急性肠胃炎，突然地离开三四次

　　Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you

　　当同事和你讲话的时候死死盯住他们的眼睛

　　Take all the ice out of the community freezer

　　把公用冷藏机里的冰都拿出来

　　Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically

　　听搞笑段子并歇斯底里的大笑

　　Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator

　　离开电梯之前把所有楼层的按钮都按一遍

　　Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection

　　对着电话发出咝咝的声音，说是信号不好

　　Flip the left and right mouse button defaults

　　把默认的鼠标左右键倒装过来

　　Take out the ball in the mouse

　　取出鼠标里的滚珠

　　Eat sunflower seedsMake a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver

　　把他们的电脑桌面截成一张图，然后把这张图设成屏保

　　Turn up the contrast on their monitor

　　把他们显示器的对比度调高

　　Talk in a funny accent

　　用可笑的口音说话

　　Use goofy event sounds for your programs

　　给你的电脑程序选用滑稽的事件提示音

　　Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email

　　每次收到新邮件的时候高唱“yeay,我收到了邮件”

　　Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox

　　打印一张假解聘通知书放到他们的信箱里

　　Send flowers from one co-worker to another

　　借某同事之名送花给另一同事

　　Start your car remotely when someone walk by it

　　有人经过的你的车时，用遥控器(远远的就)把你的车发动起来

　　Insist on people to have a great morning

　　坚决要求人们应该有一个美好的早晨

　　Leave hole punches all over

　　随处乱放打孔器

　　Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans

　　把你午餐过后的垃圾放进别人的罐头

　　After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”

　　每啜一口都来一句惬意的“啊……”

　　Put salt on someone’s mouse pad

　　在别人的鼠标垫上撒盐

　　Set a password on someone’s screensaver

　　给别人的屏保设置密码

　　Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down

　　坚持和两个隔间之外的人对话

　　Smirk when a co-worker walks by

　　在一个同事经过的时候傻笑

　　Eat half of someone’s lunch

　　把别人的午餐吃掉一半

　　Swap co-worker’s chairs

　　调换同事的椅子

　　Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times

　　开会的时候假装急性肠胃炎，突然地离开三四次

　　Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you

　　当同事和你讲话的时候死死盯住他们的眼睛

　　Take all the ice out of the community freezer

　　把公用冷藏机里的冰都拿出来

　　Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically

　　听搞笑段子并歇斯底里的大笑

　　Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator

　　离开电梯之前把所有楼层的按钮都按一遍

　　Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection

　　对着电话发出咝咝的声音，说是信号不好

　　Flip the left and right mouse button defaults

　　把默认的鼠标左右键倒装过来

　　Take out the ball in the mouse

　　取出鼠标里的滚珠

　　Eat sunflower seedsTell a long story without a point

　　讲一个冗长且毫无主题的故事

　　Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week

　　告诉一个同事你更喜欢他们上一周时的头发

　　Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker

　　匿名送花给随便哪一位同事

　　Bring Cheetos for food days

　　在食物交流日上带来的是Cheetos牌的零食

　　Drag your feet when you walk down the halls

　　拖着脚走过大厅

　　Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom

　　惊叫你的同事出洗手间时没洗手

　　Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk

　　午饭时在你的桌上吃些臭烘烘的食物

　　Practice drumming on your desk

　　在桌子上练习敲鼓

　　Use too many paper clips

　　用超多回形针

　　Fill out your time sheets incorrectly

　　填错你的工作时间表

　　Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone

　　给你的手机设一个烦人的铃声

　　Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers

　　给同事转发连锁信和别的垃圾邮件

　　Express your political views at length

　　长篇大论你的政治观点

　　Whisper loudly

　　大声讲悄悄话(吹口哨)

　　Come to work sick

　　生病也来上班

　　Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot

　　喝掉最后一杯咖啡，且不添一壶新的

　　Answer your mobile during meetings

　　开会的时候接电话

　　Stand over someone while they are on the phone

　　别人接电话的时候站在旁边监听

　　Sneak up behind someone

　　从后面突然吓别人

　　Mess with the thermostat

　　乱按一番调温器

　　Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by

　　冲每个经过的人作手枪射击状

　　Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone

　　把某人电话音量逐渐调低

　　Leave unusual print outs on the printer

　　在打印机旁留几张内容诡异的打印件

　　Throw out other people’s prints

　　把别人的打印件扔掉

　　Juggle office supplies

　　用办公用品耍杂技

　　Write all your memos on bright colored paper

　　把你所有的备忘录写在颜色刺眼的纸上

　　Be overly nice to people

　　对人过分的亲热

　　Hide whiteboard erasers

　　藏起白板擦Chew gum whie talking on the phone

　　讲电话时嚼口香糖

　　Regularly update everyone on the current weather

　　定时给每个人汇报当前天气

　　Read your emails aloud

　　大声读你的email

　　Leave the fridge open

　　不关冰箱门

　　Shake up cans of pop in the fridge

　　把冰箱里的汽水瓶摇一遍

　　Leave fingerprints on the copier glass

　　在复印机(打印机的)玻璃上留下指印

　　Whistle all day long

　　从早到晚吹口哨

　　Wear too much cologne/perfume

　　撒过多的香水

　　Type loudly

　　很响地敲键盘

　　Wear bright colored clothes

　　穿颜色刺眼的衣服

　　Give everyone a nickname from a TV show

　　拿电视剧里的名字给每个人起外号

　　Do the sneaky walk around the office

　　在办公室里鬼鬼祟祟的走

　　Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice

　　向别的隔断张望，等着有人抬起头来注意到

　　Use the intercom and page yourself

　　擅自使用内部电话呼叫自己和记录

　　Swap the regular and decaf coffee

　　对换普通咖啡和脱咖啡因(无糖)咖啡

　　Hide the sugar and creamer

　　把咖啡里加的糖和奶藏起来

　　Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation

　　用大写字母写email，并且用n多标点

　　Refer to your garbage can as your in-box

　　称你的垃圾桶为收件箱

　　Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices

　　在别人办公室天花板上戳(粘)铅笔

　　Throw a bouncy ball in your office

　　在办公室里扔弹力球

　　Tell the same story over and over

　　一个故事翻来覆去的讲

　　Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click

　　模仿诸如打开光驱，关门，或者点击鼠标的声音

　　Talk to your monitor as if it was a person

　　把你的显示器当成人一样对其讲话

　　Schedule meetings at 4:00pm

　　把会议的时间定在下午4点

　　Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you

　　有人过来和你交谈的时候，戴着耳机大声说话。大声对着你戴的耳机讲话。

　　声明：使用这些方法时请自行承担风险。对于之后所发生的一切--不论是发生在你，你的隔间，还是你的车上--本人概不承担任何责任。

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