我的中国老婆：晚餐上的囧事

我和我的中国老婆最近去一位朋友家吃晚餐，我的这两位朋友在庆祝他们的十周年结婚纪念日，尽管他们已经同居十五年了。

Invited that evening were another 3 couples, all being doctors and doctors wives (2 of those wives were also doctors).

这对幸福的夫妻一共邀请了3对夫妇，都是医生和医生太太（有两位太太也是医生）。

The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple, he being a surgeon and she being a stay at home mother. They are very compatible, although quite different in many respects. Their ongoing adoration of each other is quite palpable, and quite refreshing to experience.

这对庆祝结婚纪念日的夫妻可是相当的恩爱，丈夫是个外科医生妻子则是个全职太太。尽管在不少地方差别很大，但他们可十分和谐。他们对对方的爱恋十分明显，他们的爱情也得以保鲜。

During dinner, the conversation naturally turned to the other relationships in the room, and eventually to mine.

在晚餐时，我们的话题很自然的转向了其他几对夫妇之间的关系上，最后说到了我。

I was asked what it was that attracted me to my wife originally, and I responded in what is probably a typical male fashion, stuck for words but then falling back on the typical qualities such as sense of humour, looks, emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.

他们问我最初我老婆身上的什么东西吸引了我，我说这可能男性都会这样，在第一次见到她时我就突然说不出话来，但又马上又会被某些普遍的特征所吸引，比如说幽默，眼神，感情交流和契合的感觉。

Well, then it was my wife’s turn, and I could hear the whole room quiten down as she was asked what she found most appealing about me when we first met, and what it was that made her consider marriage with me.

谈后他们便调转枪口问我老婆了，当他们问在我们第一次见面的时候是什么吸引了她，又是什么促使她嫁给了我时，我能感到满屋子的人都安静了下来。

Naive me, I thought she would say that she thought we were compatible, that I was caring and loving to her needs, that I was a good provider and responsible, and maybe, just maybe that she felt that she loved me.

我真天真，我满以为她会说因为我们很般配，因为我给了她他想要的爱情，因为我总是付出，因为我有责任感之类。也许，只是也许她会说她只是爱我。

Instead, my wife responded by saying:

但是，我老婆是这么说的：

“I liked the fact that he was left-handed, and that he had blue eyes and blonde hair. We Chinese admire those physical traits”

“因为他是左撇子，他长着蓝眼睛和金色头发，这些可是我们中国人喜欢的特征哦。”

When further prompted about the qualities in me that she liked, she continued:

当我老婆被问及我身上的什么特质让他喜欢时，她继续说：

“I liked the fact that he was a doctor. I knew that all my friends and extended family would be jealous of me if I married a doctor.”

”因为他是个医生啊，如果我嫁了个医生，我所有的朋友和亲戚都会对我羡慕嫉妒恨的。“

Everyone at the dinner table smiled, out of politeness I think, but I think my poor wife simply didn’t realise that she she was being asked for human qualities, not pragmatic ones.

晚餐上的每个人都笑而不语，我想这不过是出于礼貌。但我看我那个倒霉老婆还并没有明白别人问他的是我的个人品性，可不是什么功利目的。

I tried to interrupt and hopefully change the topic, but I was gently brushed aside, in a helpful and supportive way, by one of the wives sitting beside me, who said to my wife:

我尽力想打断他们并换个新话题，但是被撂在一边。一个坐在我旁边的女士想帮我老婆明白他们的问题，便继续问道：

“Love, what we mean is did you marry him because you thought he would support you through thick or thin, or did you maybe think he would make a great father to your child?”

”我们想问的是你是不是因为爱情才嫁给他，或者说他能对你不离不弃，支撑你度过所有坎坷，抑或他将会是你孩子最好的爸爸？“

My wife seemed like she understood, she took a deep breath, smiled and then said:

我老婆好像明白了，她做了次深呼吸，微笑着说：

“I thought about what my child would look like if I had a child with him. I wanted my child to have light coloured hair and eyes, and to be a doctor too. I liked him for, how do you say, for his DNA?”

”我想过如果我和他有个孩子的话我的孩子将会长成什么样。我希望我的孩子有个浅色的头发和眼睛，并且也当个医生。我喜欢他的原因，你是不是说，因为他的DNA？“

Everyone laughed, I guess because no other response was appropriate, and we simply moved on to other topics.

大家哄堂大笑，我猜是因为我老婆的回答完全不着调。于是我们转移到另一个话题去了。

I felt somewhat embarrassed by my wife’s response, truth be told, but there was a huge language and cultural barrier that made it difficult for her to talk in those terms, so I simply put it aside and tried to forget it.

我觉得被我老婆的回答囧到了，尽管她说的是事实，但那个横亘在我和她之间巨大的语言和文化沟壑让她很难去和别人谈论某些话题，所以我就把这件事放在一边并尽力忘掉它。

At work however, I still get a jibe from my colleagues, who while diagnosing a condition for the ocassional chinese female patient, ask me whether I think they have DNA envy, and then they smile and wink.

在工作中，我依然因为此事被同事们开玩笑。当他们偶尔给中国女士看病时，总会问我她们会不会羡慕我们的DNA，然后边向我微笑着挤挤眼。

Yes, its funny, and simply part and parcel of a cross-cultural relationship.