花粥我爱的姑娘:近日网上关于男女人的顺口溜

来源：百度文库 编辑：九乡新闻网 时间：2024/05/05 13:47:17

 

 

 

近日网上关于女人的顺口溜

1、女人这辈子吧,挺难，漂亮点吧,太惹眼;不漂亮吧,拿不出手;学问高了,没人敢娶;学问低了,没人要;活泼点吧,说你招蜂引蝶;矜持点吧,说你装腔作势;会打扮吧,说你像个妖精;不会打扮吧,说你没女人味;自己挣钱吧,男人望而止步;让男人养吧,说你傍大款;生孩子吧,怕被老板炒鱿鱼;不生吧,怕被老公炒鱿鱼.唉,做女人真难.所以,女人就要对男人狠点,对自己嘛,宽大处理为上,一定要吃喝玩乐,不然累死了,就会有别人,花你的钱,住你的房,玩你的男人,睡你的床,还会撕你的照片，打你的娃.提前祝群里所有的单纯可爱的女人三八节快乐!

2、男人累,所以才会去敲背,男人愁,所以才会去洗头,男人苦,所以经常才去赌,男人忙,所以经常上错床,希望这里的女士过好三八节,并体谅男人。男人这辈子挺难的：帅点吧，太抢手， 不帅吧，拿不出手； 活泼点吧，说你太油，不出声吧，说你太闷； 穿西装吧，说你太严肃，穿随便一点吧，说你乡吧佬； 会挣钱吧，怕你包二奶；不挣钱吧，又怕孩子断奶， 结婚吧，怕自己后悔； 不结婚吧，怕她后悔，要个孩子吧，怕出来没钱养， 不要孩子吧，怕老了没人养。这年头做女人难，做男人更难，男人，就要对自己好点！祝男士们在三八节也快乐嘿！

3、唐僧的家书 亲爱的悟空，我们搬家了，不过地址没变，因为搬家时我把门牌带来了。这个星期下了两场雨，一次三天一次四天。昨天我去买一个披萨，店员问切八片还是十二片，我怕十二片太多吃不了，就切了八片。给你寄件外套，怕超重，酒吧扣子剪下来放外套口袋里了。节日到了，别忘给孩子们讲故事：那时天是蓝的，水是清的，猪肉是可以放心吃的，学校是不图挣钱的，照相是要穿衣服的，演员是不需要陪导演睡觉的。老鼠还是怕猫的。结婚还是先谈恋爱的，发廊只管理发的，

4、美女鉴赏:妖的叫美女,丑的有气质,刁的叫才女,木的叫淑女;瘦的叫苗条,胖的叫丰满,高的叫婷婷玉立,矮的叫小巧玲珑;蔫的叫温柔,凶的叫泼辣,傻的叫阳光,狠的叫冷艳,土的叫传统,洋的叫潇洒,匪的叫另类,骚的叫风流,嫩的叫青春靓丽,老的叫风韵犹存,浪的叫众星捧月,牛的叫傲雪凌风,闲的叫感情专一,忙得叫追求自我,烦的叫循循善诱,损的叫拒绝成熟,弱不禁风的叫有女人味,不象女人的叫超女.祝美女节日超快乐!

5、在现代社会做个女人，真好。漂亮吧叫美女，不漂亮吧叫有气质； 有才气叫才女，没才气也不要紧，可以叫淑女--女子无才便是德嘛。瘦了叫苗条，胖了叫丰满；高的叫亭亭玉立，矮的叫小巧玲珑。脾气好的叫温柔，脾气不好的叫泼辣；爱傻笑那叫青春，绷着脸那叫冷艳；活泼的叫顾盼生辉，矜持的叫稳重大方。化装叫妩媚动人，不化装则是清水芙蓉；穿得整齐叫庄重华美，穿的随意则叫潇洒自如。年轻叫青春靓丽，年长则叫成熟动人；追的人多叫众星捧月，没人敢追叫傲雪寒霜。挣钱的叫追求独立，不挣钱的叫牺牲为家；多生孩子叫做母亲伟大，不生孩子叫响应国家计划。天天在家不出门的那叫贤惠，天天出去不回来的那叫女权；从不离婚的叫感情专一，经常离婚的叫追求幸福；唠唠叨叨叫循循善诱，贬损欺压叫"野蛮女友"。偏要和男人一样那叫不让须眉，偏要男人让着那叫女士优先；长的像女人那叫有女人味，长的不像女人--更没关系啦，那叫"超女"，火着呢。

6、夜幕降临后，我们的社会是这样的：有喝的、有碰的、三拳两胜玩命的；有喊的、有唱的、抓着话筒不放的；有胡的、有杠的、每圈都有进帐的；捏脚的、揉背的、按摩按到裸睡的；想念的、爱慕的、电话两头倾诉的；谈情的、说爱的、地上搂着乱踹的；眉来的、眼去的、惹的老公生气的；沾花的、惹草的、害的老婆乱找的；表演的、猛练的、跳楼招来观看的；狂欢的、作案的、满街都是乱窜的；卖淫的、嫖娼的、陋室独自玩枪的；撬门的、盗墓的、做梦都想致富的；开房的、上床的、干到高潮叫娘的；手摸的、舌舔的、干出小孩不管的；补肾的、吃鞭的、一干通宵累瘫的。

7、女人五大窝囊:下班回家进厨房,吃完晚饭就上床,领了工资存银行,出门最远到商场,一生只上一张床.整改方案:下班可以不回家,几点上床由着她,领了工资自己花,想到哪就到哪儿,随心所欲披婚纱.?%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