跆拳道专业能考大学吗:出自维基中国的假想

出自维基中国的假想

From WikiChina

By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN　托马斯·弗里德曼

纽约时报

November 30, 2010  二零一零年十一月三十日

    Whilesecrets from WikiLeaks were splashed all over the American newspapers, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if China had aWikiLeaker and we could see what its embassy in Washington was reporting aboutAmerica? I suspect the cable would read like this:

    来自维基解密的秘密消息充斥着美国报纸，我不禁想到：如果中国也有一家维基解密，中国在华盛顿的大使馆会如何报道美国呢？我猜电文会是这样的：

   Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign Affairs Beijing, TOPSECRET/Subject: America today.

    中华人民共和国（美国）华盛顿大使馆，发往外交部，绝密。标题：今日美国。

    Thingsare going well here for China. America remains a deeply politically polarizedcountry, which is certainly helpful for our goal of overtaking the U.S. as theworld’s most powerfuleconomy and nation. But we’re particularly optimisticbecause the Americans are polarized over all the wrong things.

    对于中国来说，这里一切都很好。美国仍是一个政治严重偏激化的国家。可以肯定，这对中国超越美国，成为世界上最强大的经济体、最强大的国家是有利的。尤其让我们乐观的是，美国人在所有事情上都是如此偏激。

    There isa willful self-destructiveness in the air here as if America has all the timeand money in the world for petty politics. They fight over things like — we are not making this up — how and where an airport security officer can touch them. They arefighting — we are happy to report — over the latest nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. It seemsas if the Republicans are so interested in weakening President Obama that theyare going to scuttle a treaty that would have fostered closer U.S.-Russiancooperation on issues like Iran. And since anything that brings Russia andAmerica closer could end up isolating us, we are grateful to Senator Jon Kyl ofArizona for putting our interests ahead of America’sand blocking Senate ratification of the treaty. The ambassador has invitedSenator Kyl and his wife for dinner at Mr. Kao’sChinese restaurant to praise him for his steadfastness in protecting America’s (read: our) interests.

    当美国为世界上所有的政治琐事花费时间与金钱的同时，美国的本土却弥漫着一股有意的自我毁灭气息。他们为机场安检人员的搜身方式争论不休，而我们绝对不会这样做。我们还高兴汇报，美国人正在与俄罗斯关于裁减核武器发生争执。似乎共和党人格外热衷于给奥巴马找麻烦，共和党人还准备破坏加强美俄合作的条约，比如就伊朗问题的合作。因为任何美俄之间的合作都会结束对中国的孤立，所以对于亚利桑那州参议员琼·凯尔阻止美俄合作条约的通过，这种将中国利益置于美国之上的行为，我们表示十分感谢。大使先生已经邀请了琼·凯尔先生及其夫人前往Mr. Kao中餐厅赴宴，以表彰他对保护美国（实际是中国）利益坚定不移的决心。

    Americansjust had what they call an “election.” Best we could tell it involvedone congressman trying to raise more money than the other (all from businessesthey are supposed to be regulating) so he could tell bigger lies on TV moreoften about the other guy before the other guy could do it to him. This leavesus relieved. It means America will do nothing serious to fix its structuralproblems: a ballooning deficit, declining educational performance, crumblinginfrastructure and diminished immigration of new talent.

    美国人刚刚结束了一次“选举”。我们可以肯定，必然有某一个众议员试图比别人筹得更多资金（这些钱全部来自那些将要被整治的企业），好让他可以在电视上对其他议员泼更多的脏水。这让我们很放心。看来美国还不会动真格的，去修补它的结构性问题：膨胀的赤字、下滑的教育质量、破败的基础设施以及数量萎缩的高端人才移民。

    Theambassador recently took what the Americans call a fast train — the Acela —from Washington to New York City. Our bullet train from Beijing to Tianjinwould have made the trip in 90 minutes. His took three hours — and it was on time! Along the way the ambassador used his cellphoneto call his embassy office, and in one hour he experienced 12 dropped calls — again, we are not making this up. We have a joke in the embassy: “When someone calls you from China today it sounds like they are nextdoor. And when someone calls you from next door in America, it sounds like theyare calling from China!” Those of us who worked inChina’s embassy in Zambia often note that Africa’s cellphone service was better than America’s.

    大使先生最近乘坐了一次从华盛顿到纽约的高铁（Acela列车），用了整整三个小时！而我们的城际专线从北京到天津只要九十分钟。大使先生在列车上用手机向办公室打电话，一个小时之内竟然掉线十二次，而我们的列车绝对不会发生这样的问题。我们大使馆工作人员中流传着一个笑话：“一个人从中国给你打电话，听上去他就在隔壁。而一个人从美国隔壁给你打电话，听上去却像是从中国打来的。”我们在赞比亚大使馆工作的同事也时常注意到，非洲的手机服务质量要比美国还好。

    But theAmericans are oblivious. They travel abroad so rarely that they don’t see how far they are falling behind.Which is why we at the embassy find it funny that Americans are now fightingover how “exceptional” theyare. Once again, we are not making this up. On the front page of The WashingtonPost on Monday there was an article noting that Republicans Sarah Palin andMike Huckabee are denouncing Obama for denying “Americanexceptionalism.” The Americans have replaced working tobe exceptional with talking about how exceptional they still are. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t declareyourself “ exceptional,” onlyothers can bestow that adjective upon you.

    但是美国人对此一无所知。他们很少出国旅行，以至于不知道美国已经落后了。当美国人还在不断地证明他们是多么“高高在上”时，我们在大使馆的工作人员就觉得这件事格外好笑。又一次，我们中国人不会这样。这周一华盛顿邮报的头版有一篇共和党议员萨拉·佩林与麦克·赫卡比的文章，他们谴责奥巴马，因为奥巴马否认“美国特殊论”。美国人只是空谈他们是多么的与众不同，却不做任何实际的工作。他们似乎不明白：一个人不能宣称自己是特殊的，只有别人才能对这个人作出评价。

    Inforeign policy, we see no chance of Obama extricating U.S. forces fromAfghanistan. He knows the Republicans will call him a wimp if he does, soAmerica will keep hemorrhaging $190 million a day there. Therefore, Americawill lack the military means to challenge us anywhere else, particularly onNorth Korea, where our lunatic friends continue to yank America’s chain every six months so that theAmericans have to come and beg us to calm things down. By the time theAmericans do get out of Afghanistan, the Afghans will surely hate them so muchthat China’s mining companies already operating thereshould be able to buy up the rest of Afghanistan’s rareminerals.

    在国际政策方面，我们认为奥巴马没有可能将美国军队撤出阿富汗。奥巴马知道，如果他这么做，共和党人一定会说他是懦夫，所以美国仍将每天在阿富汗战场花费一点九亿美元。因此，美国势力不会在世界其它地方对我们构成威胁，尤其是在朝鲜这个地方。我们这个朝鲜傻朋友，每六个月就会让美国紧张一次，以至于美国人不得不跑到我们这里，央求中国让事态平息。等到美国人真正离开阿富汗的时候，阿富汗人一定对其恨之入骨，而那里的中国矿业公司可以一举买下阿富汗其它剩余的稀有矿产。

    Most ofthe Republicans just elected to Congress do not believe what their scientiststell them about man-made climate change. America’s politicians are mostly lawyers — not engineers or scientists like ours — sothey’ll just say crazy things about science and nobodycalls them on it. It’s good. It means they will notsupport any bill to spur clean energy innovation, which is central to our nextfive-year plan. And this ensures that our efforts to dominate the wind, solar,nuclear and electric car industries will not be challenged by America.

    大多数刚刚当选的美国国会议员根本不相信科学家告诉他们的关于人为气候变化的事实。美国的政治家大多是律师，不像我们的从政者大多是工程师和科学家。所以美国政治家只会说科学家讲的都是一些怪论，没有人相信。这样很好。这意味美国人不会在清洁能源创新方面投入资金，而此项目是我们十二五计划的重中之重，其确保我们在风能、太阳能、核能和电动汽车上的努力不会被美国挑战。

Finally, record numbers of U.S. high schoolstudents are now studying Chinese, which should guarantee us a steady supply ofcheap labor that speaks our language here, as we use our $2.3 trillion inreserves to quietly buy up U.S. factories. In sum, things are going well forChina in America.

最后，请注意一下正在学习中文的美国高中生数字，它确保当我们用二点三万亿美元的外汇储备悄无声息地买下美国的所有工厂时，可以有稳定的会说中国话的廉价劳动力。总之，美国发生的一切对中国很好。

    Thankgoodness the Americans can’t read our diplomatic cables. 谢天谢地，美国人读不到我们的外交电文。

    EmbassyWashington. 华盛顿大使馆