逍遥模拟使用方法:Humor: Lets outlaw the weather - by Keith Red...

Humor: Let's outlaw the weather

• Last Updated: November 27, 2009

Oh, if we could only outlaw the weather. There are times when our weather behaves like other traditional outlaws of fame and fable, suddenly making surprise attacks - catching us when we least expect it - creating a trail of death and destruction - leaving us feeling helpless and angry.

Wouldn't it be great if we could send out a posse, round up the weather gang and throw it in jail? No more storms or nasty meteorological surprises. But there is no way we can prevent tornadoes, flash floods, deep snow and the like.

We can't track down the source and lock it up, and we are not exactly able to fight back - we just have to take it when it comes and try to cope with the consequences.

What we could do is outlaw the subject in conversation. It fascinates us and it is a safe subject to talk about, even with strangers. But it can be so boring. Why don't we make it a rule to talk about something else? One reason is that so many other subjects are considered out of bounds between strangers.

We could hardly greet someone with - Good morning. And how is your bank balance this morning? Or - Hello. What is your take on the current political situation in Slobodia?

One of the things we are taught about polite society is that we should avoid subjects like politics, sex, religion and personal finance.

So what are we left with? Sport is always an option, particularly for men, but we always tend to fall back on the weather. Why? Because it is something we all experience and can speak about with some degree of interest, and, of course, it is safe.

In some parts of the world the climate is often dramatic and would make for a very interesting topic of conversation. However, for most of us, for most of the time, our climate is about as dramatic as drying paint.

Bob Hope once said that Britain doesn't have a climate, it just has weather, and the same could be said for many other countries. But it is in Britain where the population seems most fixated on the weather. If we were to outlaw the topic, the art of conversation in Britain would die immediately.

Everyone meeting there would be tongue tied, trying to find a subject on which to speak about for which they have some level of interest but which would avoid potential embarrassment.

Having exchanged, Good morning, how are you? - Fine thank you - there would be embarrassed smiles and confusion, and phone lines would appear to go dead as long silences fall while we desperately search for something to say.

So, instead of the weather, we could talk about, er....well actually, I can't think of anything else.